A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, was just hoping you could give me some insightThere's a guy who i really like, and have done for about a year now. For months I have noticed that he is very nervous around me and i'm wondering why?Here's a little background for you; He found out i liked him almost a year ago (I told him directly to his face once when i were drunk) he didn't reciprocate the feelings but he was very keen on staying friends. However, someone told him a load of nonsense about me since then and i still have not defended myself as i was unsure how to approach the subject to him! As a result we have drifted apart...I started to notice his nervousness around me at the very beginning of this year, the stuff that was said happened in early March but because his behaviour started before this i cannot say that this was the cause of it. Just for a little more insight his behavior is as follows; he struggles to make eye contact with me when in conversation, he'll look toward my direction but downwards and hardly look at me, but will occasionally make eye contact.. however, when i am not looking at him/talking to someone else he feels comfortable enough to look straight at me. When near me, he seems to fidget alot e.g. smooth down his hair, tap pen on table (if in lesson; where i sit next to him), etc. But it is even worse when we're alone together; once we were sat on the grass and we spoke for about a minute (it felt very uncomfortable) he was picking at grass and i was playing with my hair then i just went on my phone and soon after he went on his. It wasn't until our mutual friends arrived back that we came off our phones and started acting normally. I don't get it though, he always hangs around with me and my friends... if i make him feel so nervous then why does he do it? he has LOADS of friends, and comes across to them as really confident and chatty. Opinions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your answers. Since this behaviour started, I always got the instinct that he could possibly like me back but because of his rejection last year it all seemed rather unlikely. The thing is, he thinks badly of me! I expressed my feelings for him to a new friend of mine who i thought i could trust and I suspect that she told him everything, but in a twisted way, making out as if i'm some obsessive freak. So even if he does like me, he probably doesn't want a relationship because of what he's heard. I know i'm stupid to not have even told him the truth yet, but I get completely tongue tied around him and his nervous behaviour doesn't make it any easier for me. If you could give me any further advice i would greatly appreciate it, also i'm very greatful for the replies i've receieved. Thank you xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): It sounds to me like he's fallen for you too but is too nervous to say anything. I think this is one of the hardest parts of a relationship, when you really care about someone and you think they feel the same way about you because they probably do, but you just stare and look away because you're both too afraid to share your feelings and get shot down by the other. I don't really know what you should do, but it sounds to me like he likes you. Just try and and push a little farther each time you encounter each other and either he'll pull away if not interested, or just maybe you'll get to the stage where you can both share your feelings. I hope it works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): Sounds like he likes you..? Maybe just dont return the awkwardness but be open and try loosen him up a bit?
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