A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im not sure why i want him around, but i want him to leave, yet i dont.Im in love with a guy (so i think) whom i would consider a friend, ive known him for almost 3years now and we've said 'i love you' many times but we're not together...So i guess i'll just get to the point. I think im head over heels for him, but i hate that i love so much that i want him to leave me alone and me to never talk to him, but cant do it because i love him. I just dont know why i could love him but just him out of my life...Anyone know, what i should be considering if you know what imean, or why could be feeling this way to him.Thank You.-AJ Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): I think that your head over heals for him becouse you really do like him. I have the same problem except he just seems not to care about stuff as much as he should and that makes him kind of a jerk which is why i dont want to like him. But at the same time you just know in your heart that you like him. Right? Well i think that the best thing to do is to embrace the fact that you like him but dont get too close to him becouse those quarks that are making you second guess him could come back to hurt you later. But who know he could be the one so dont give up. Just try to be as good a friend as possible to him and maybe he will start to think of you as something more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe did quit talking to each other for more then a month...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Well, I think the jealousy is understandable, if you still have feelings for each other. Maybe a break away from each other will help you both to sort things out in your own heads, in your own time.
With this other girl, it could be that he is trying to make you feel jealous. It just doesn't sound good to me, if that is the case. I mean, is he trying to hurt you by saying he is happy with another girl? I don't believe that is true, about him moving on with someone else, because if that was true he wouldn't still be into you.
I suppose I just think that it might be good to clear your head away from him for a while, and maybe you will be able to see the situation more clearly, and decide what you really want to do. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkie Dokie...I told this guy how i felt about him. I told him that i couldnt stand him when he being pissy, upset, sad and what-knots. He assumed that i couldnt stand him at all, and freaked cuz he didnt reply back to me for a while...And he said that it was fine and i needed to calm down.
I have another issue right now. He doesnt know, of course. Everytime he tells me that he's talking to another girl, i get jelouse and upset, cause he tells me that he's getting happy with her...heck only knows what he means and i wont ask. He get jelouse when i have a boyf, and i get jelouse when he's with another girl....
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYup.The positves weightout the negatives. When he starts to upset or something i keep my distance.Some what of the time be ause i hate being away from him. Yes i can stand up to him. I have told him off a few times.
No my dad and i dont get off onthe same things all the time. I just noticed in the time tht ive known my friend, he's like my dad in ways.
-AJ
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): No, I don't think it's bad if he is like your dad. It sounds like this guy can be a bit difficult to deal with at times though. Are you able to stand up to yourself with him?
If he starts to get in a mood, maybe you could try telling him that, while he is being like that, you would rather he left you alone for a bit until he is being nicer, rather than starting to drag you down. Maybe you just need some space from him when he is like that. It might even get him to see that you are serious about not wanting him to treat you like that.
Do the positives outweigh the negatives in the relationship? Are the good times better than the bad? If so, then it maybe that this relationship will be a bit difficult at times, but you can work on things and resolve any issues. You are still young after all, so you are both still learning about relationships.
But if there are mostly negative things happening, then maybe he isn't the ideal person for you. Again, maybe you just really want to be with somebody, you don't want to be alone.
It is interesting that you mentioned your dad though. Are you close to him, do you get on? (You don't have to say anything if you don't want to though). x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I do get angry at him...Its guy when i have a boyfriend tht he tries to break us up.
He tells me tht he loves me, he told me once tht he will ask me to marry him, i had no answer to tht...He just gets so pissy about everything...but at the same time he's sweet about it too. Personalitywise he's like my dad....is tht bad?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Thanks for the extra info.
You say this guy is nice to you. But it sounds like there have been rocky patches between you as well. Do you think you might feel a bit angry towards him over some of the things that have happened? Maybe this could be why part of you doesn't want him around.
You also say that he doesn't like seeing you with anyone else but him. Is this just other guys? Or anybody else? Do you feel trapped or stifled in the relationship?
Are you afraid to be on your own? If you wasn't with this guy, do you think you would have no one?
I'm not sure if I'm on the right track here with these questions! But I'm just trying to get a better understanding. If I'm getting this all wrong though, then I apologise, and feel free to tell me to shut up! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell yes ive lost family, my mom died 9 years ago.This guy and I have been off on each other a few times because he called me a b-tch; i cant remember why though. Yes he's nice to me, really sweet to me when he's not around his friends... He was honest with me when he told me he purposly tried to break me and my ex boyfriend up. But he was a kiss -ss about that for a bit cuz he knew how mad i was at him. He hates seeing me with some one thats not him...but we've never been together.Hope that helps.:)-AJ
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Is it because you are worried that if you care too much, you will be hurt? Or that he will leave you? It could be insecurity of some sort.
Or maybe you like the feeling, but don't necessarily want a relationship right now. Perhaps you just want your own space. Is he nice to you, do you get on well?
It's difficult to suggest anything, because there is little information to go on. Maybe you could tell us a bit more? Have you been hurt before, which could be contributing to it?
I hope something here helps, or something someone else suggests. x
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