A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I just finished seeing a guy who I really liked. We were only together for 2 months but Im actually really upset over it. We got on really well but I felt like it was me who always made the effort and always found myself chasing him, although when were together we would have a good time. We broke up at the weekend cos I told him that I was sick of trying and makin all the effort. He didnt really seem that bothered but he did try to call me 3 or 4 times over the weekend but i just didnt answer the phone. Eventually I txt him sayin that I didnt like arguin and he replied sayin neither did he but I had to stop getting funny over things. It annoyed me that he couldnt see why I was getin funny - cos I felt the relationship was all 1 sided. So I txt back saying it was over and to just stay friends. Half of me meant this but half of me wanted him to see what was happening and change the way he was. But I havent heard from him so I guess it is over. But why do I feel upset over such a short relationship? and how do i move on?
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female
reader, On Cloud9 +, writes (19 September 2007):
 Poor thing, you are mentally exhausted by the sounds of it. Your head has probably been going round and round for those 2 months trying to analyise what is going on with him.
Without stereotyping, I believe men do not seem to have the same thought processes as us, hence the 'men are from mars and women are from venus' (my partner and I actually read that book together and found it very helpful to link the way we both think and helped with communication between us)
But this isn't really about him, its about you. Remember there were reasons you were 'acting funny' about things and he managed to trivialise your sincere concerns. You should try and keep in mind that if things were so intense in 2 months what do you think it would have been like in 2 years or worse in 22 years.
If you do decide to try again with him, take Basschicks excellent advice and go with the flow, if you can't do that, then he is not the one for you.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 Because you know you acted hastily and you let your pride dominate an otherwise good relationship. The men we love are not always on the exact page we are on, at the exact moment we are there. You have to learn patience, my dear. Some men have to be taught how to treat a woman. Instead of flipping out and breaking up two months into the relationship so soon you should've just talked to him about your feelings and then given him some space to digest your requests and figure out if he could rise to the occassion. Things don't always happen overnight with guys. It takes them a while to decide if they like you enough to make the effort. In the meantime, just have fun, keep things light, don't be too serious too soon, and live in the moment. When he sees that you're aren't controlling his every move like a puppet, he will be able to show you his feelings when he's ready. This applies to men when they are 18, and when they are 52. Don't try to always "steer the boat", just let things unfold the way they are meant to unfold and enjoy the ride. Take care honey, I hope it's not too late for you to patch things up with this guy....if so, live and learn next time.
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