A
female
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anonymous
writes:HiI would like to know if anyone can help me understand why all of a sudden I feel very self-conscious?I went through a bad break-up over a year and a half ago, and lost my self-confidence. It took me a long time to get it all back. When I got it back, I suddenly felt that I needed to change my appearance (I am 19, but I look 16, but at the same time, I don't get asked to prove my age when on a night out with friends).However, roughly three months after getting most of my self-confidence back, I am starting to feel very self-conscious again. How can I stop feeling like this? I do not want to go out with another guy until I have 'sorted myself out' (both mentally and my appearance, I want to be more confident first).I am not sure what to do. Can anyone help? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): most girls feel conscious about themselves. they are constantly worried on how the way they look. You feel this way because you think u are in the spotlight. You feel like you are being evaluated whne your probally not. Focus on the other person rather than yourself. try to be amazed by his or her traits. it could also be the trauma form the past of the break-up.But never lean on the past. learn from it and keep moving forward. trust me if u focus on the other person either than yourself it will be easier for you to talk and smile naturally. But also, do whats right for you.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (11 August 2007):
Self esteem issues are often very deep and can be helped a lot by talking to a counsellor. So my advice to you is to talk to a counsellor about your issues, they will be able to help you work through it :)
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A
female
reader, loveNbasketball  +, writes (11 August 2007):
 Why are you feeling self conscious again? I think it's because you're afraid of losing it one more time, regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. If someone hurts your feelings, you're likely to hide in a shell. As well, if you keep on changing the way you feel about yourself, it may feel like you are the only one who has control over it, and no one else. But, keep in mind, it is unhealthy to have your self esteem shoot up, and then crash. It's great that you've realized in order to boost your self-confidence you don't need a guy. Use that as your stepping stone. Do the things you love to do, by yourself, as much as possible. I'm not saying be a loner or anything, but if you play basketball, shoot around. Musically inclined? Play until you can't anymore. These activities will help you realize that you still are the same person that you were before the break-up. Your passion for the things that you do won't change because of a bad break-up. Try that out! If you aren't GREAT at one thing, then just do what you love to do and be GREAT at it - if it's your job, cleaning the house.. ANYTHING. You've accomplished something, no matter how great or how small, all by yourself. And keep on doing it because it'll feel great.
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