A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have had the worst year of my life due to my dad's terminal illness. This has took a lot out of me waiting for the outcome to happen. I had what I thought was an amazing man supporting me. I've now happened to find out that through all these bad times he was flirting online and registering for dating sites. I have confronted him and now all I want to do is find out why. He is continuing with lies after lies, even though he knows that I know what he's been doing. I thought he was loyal. What do I do? I find it hard to understand why and at such a time to do it.
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female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (26 January 2016):
 You have found this out at a very bad time, but I think it might have been happening for some time before it.
If it wasnt going on before, then either way, you now know what happens when he becomes a little bored. He finds his own excitement. What you are going through does not matter. He wants his fun and excitement.
Why would anybody lie, if they have done nothing wrong? You will forever be suspicious now. Everything he tells you could be a lie, because you know he will lie if he has to. Is this what you want?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 January 2016):
 You mention that you have had the worst year off your life, and I am sorry to hear that. You thought your boyfriend was supporting you, but where you in turn supporting him as well? Yes we all go through grief and trauma in our lives where we need our partners to support us, but we need to show them thanks in return and let them know we are still there for them. Do you think maybe you neglected him in this sense?
Do you know when he registered for the dating sites? Was it when you where having a hard time or was it before hand? Its not fair off him to lie, you need to tell him what proof you ask, and say to him if he doesn't tell you the truth then the relationship is over. It is hard to hear a partner lie, so give him another chance to put things right and give him a chance to explain himself. He probably doesn't feel like he can talk to you about his feelings as you have been having a hard time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): Let me get this right. You are going through anguish, and because you`re not the able to be exactly what he wants through this difficult time, he goes elsewhere? You seem a lot more forgiving than I could be.
He didnt stop being loyal, he probably never was.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 January 2016):
 My guess?
He felt he wasn't getting enough attention and affections from you, so he looked elsewhere. Whether he was ACTUALLY looking for a "replacement" of you or just to feel like HE was the center of someone's life, is hard to say.
NOT that it's a valid excuse - but I can easily see a person "using" it as a reason.
Are you sure he wasn't signed up BEFORE this happened?
And as for him lying about it... well, again I can only guess... THAT he thinks if he STICKS to HIS story ( I didn't DO it!) You will eventually cave and let it go.
My question to you is, IS this are guy you can see yourself with long term? Who starts doing inappropriate stuff when life gets tough? And then lies, lies and lies about it?
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