A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello there,3 months ago my ex broke up with me just as we rented out a place together, she never really given me a satisfying answer she just kept on saying it's her and not me. I thought maybe my temper brought it on. Also, she just joined a football club 3 weeks beforehand, so I asked her if there is someone she liked from her team. She said no, there is no way and there wasn't anybody she fancied. She only said she felt I had no sexual desires towards her and she lost her passion with me and don't want to continue. I was extremely devastated by all this.same week, my sister got taken away by the mental health team for treatment. Three weeks later, I found out my mother had cancer and by this time it was too unbearable for me. I am now too afraid to lose my mother too.I craved for my ex to be around but she didn't want to stick around, so I left her to it and coped on my own. 3 months gone I accidently heard a rumour that she is seeing someone from that football team. I bumped into her at a bar and asked her if she was really seeing someone, she said no and expressed some interests in me still. 3 weeks on, she came to my work one evening and confessed all her lies. I played cool and yet I suspected all along. she tried to kiss me, was being very flirtatious, even hinted having sex. I had to remind her she is seeing someone. she looked angry and said she is not into this person she is seeing. she said the last person she had slept with was me, and it was a long time ago. How can I believe that after all the lies she had told me?so, my question is why lie to me? why express sexual interests in me after breaking up. I want to move on but seems like she still wants to drag me in. she's playing with my mind.please help.
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Hey it's usually the way, you want something you can't have and don't realise what you had until it's gone, thought the grass was greener, get the drift?
Maybe she has realised that she wants you and if thats the case and you would consider taking her back then you need to be clear to her that if she is still seeing this other person then that has to end and things can't just go back to the way they were just like that she will have to work to gain your trust again.
Take care.xx.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (5 October 2007):
Take her back if she promises to be faithful. She had a moment of weakness.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Sounds like she met a guy, wanted to sleep with him, but didn't want to cheat, so she dumped you. She started seeing him, realized he wasn't all that, and now wants to get back with you.
Don't give her another chance. It will only be a matter of time before she meets another boytoy and wants to get with him.
Move on and find someone more mature and more compassionate. You can do better.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (5 October 2007):
 She's selfish. She wants to play the field and have you there also. I think most people call it "having your cake and eating it too". She wants the guy she loves (you) to hang around while she plays around with someone else. She was with you and met this guy and then she grew tired of him and she wants to come back to you for a temporary fix. Don't buy into it. Let her go and do what she wants to do. She dumped you so now she has to work to get you back, that is if you want to go back. I suspect she is in between guys and she is using you for a back-up until she gets another one she likes. If she wants you back and you want to go back, you have to make her work for it. Otherwise, you will be here posting again about how you were fooled again. Don't believe the bulls**t.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): I asked a question on this site and all the answers came from girls... so this is a very girlie site and you're unlikely to get many unbiased answers.
So as a male (and as I've got nothing better to do tonight) I'll suggest a couple of reasons why she might have lied...
1) She is a weak human being who prefers not to confront the truth and deal with situations head on.
2) She is just a liar. Some people just lie - I don't really know why - but people like you and me who prefer to tell the truth can't really understand why other people lie - some just do learn to live with this fact.
3) This is a bit like 1 but ... essentially it's easier for her to make no decision - it's probably not that she enjoys pissing people around but more that she avoids having to make a final decision - afterall if she'd said - yeah I'm shagging someone from the team - she could reasonably assume that you'd say - IC - ok Fuck you - I'm off. But by lying she keeps her "nesting" options open... female sort of thing.
Well I guess that'll do - don't hesitate to contact me if you require any further sense :)
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