A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've been dating a guy for about a month now, he works away Monday to Friday and comes home on Fridays. For the first two weeks we would text constantly and they would be sweet and I'd be smiling constantly. Last Sunday he left early coz I had things to do and I didn't hear from him for the rest of the day. I text but no answer. Ever since, I've just been hearing from him once every 2/3 days. I asked him why the change and if he's still interested n he said yes and he said he's really busy with work.. But What's annoying me is that he doesn't even text once a day, when before it use to be all day, everyday. Whenever he has stayed at mine, my dads been over his gfs for the weekend. But Friday my dad was home and when I told him this, he said he doesnt wanna stay because he doesn't wanna meet my dad yet, so I stayed at his. I went out last night n I haven't heard from him since I left his house sat morning. I text n called but nothing. Sorry if this is long winded but I wanna why the sudden silence and loss of communication. when he's back however, we're great and he can't keep his hands off me. When he's gone, It's like I'm almost forgotten. Can I get a guys perspective on this please? Is he still interested or what?
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (4 October 2011):
Hi,
Thanks for the follow up. Ok, I have no idea what is his intensions? Clearly he tells you good things, that he doesn't want to loose you and all, but his actions tells differently. To be honest with you, no matter how busy he's, doesn't have time to spend with you, a week without communicating??? Absolutely no excuses at all. It doesn't take much to make a phone call, or send you a text. I don't think you are asking much, i even talk to my friends everyday, if not just a text to say hi... If he's your boyfriend, it's only normal to say hi, have a talk everyday.
I will definitely suggest you to talk to him, have a honest talk, and ask what he wants out of the relationship. It's not fair to you to mislead you, you deserve to know the truth, and if not with him, move on with your life. A week without contact is really too much, and no excuses. I'll tell you, he's a good talker, very manipulative, very good with words. Words means nothing, he needs to show you by his actions, and a phone call a day, a text it's not much at all.
I hope you can talk with him, and solve all your issues. I hope you both stay together, and work things out.
Good luck, and best wishes...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers, however I am still confused. He's continued to be a stranger for days on end. He came over last weekend and asked me to go and stay with him the weekend just gone, I was really excited because I thought we were moving forward.However when he left the next day, I didnt hear from him until the following saturday night (a whole week). I dont mean to over-analyse but when im with someone, I like to speak to them every day. When he finally text, I told him hes wasting my time and im over us. He started getting apologetic and saying 'Im sorry for being a dick, i can't lose you, i had to come home this weekend so you couldnt come up but please come next weekend....etc'.If that is true...he didnt even have the decency to text in the week and tell me that, I was just left pondering. And at the moment im not being the one to always text first because it should be a two way thing. When he said he cant lose me, i told him he needs to prove it and he said 'yeah i will because i need you'. I left it at that and have heard nothing since.I don't understand why he's so distant all the time, apologies and asks me to do things with him but then doesnt follow through and continues to be distant. Is he messing me around or is he interested? :s
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (12 September 2011):
Hi,
I agree with the previous answer.
Don't stress yourself with minor things, seems like the relationship is going pretty well, I really think he's interested in you, and have real feelings for you.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (12 September 2011):
You asked for a male perspective, but I'm giving mine anyway.
Texting all day every day is way too much to sustain over the long haul. Not only do you run out of things to say, but if he keeps that up he'll be out of a job. So will you. Contacting you 2-3 days during the week is respectable.
People can't get enough of each other when they first start dating. Eveything else is put on hold while they get to know each other but eventually all those things that were neglected have to be tended to.
Given how often he does contact you and how he treats you when you're together, he seems pretty interested to me.
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