A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So in the beginning of the year, I met this guy at school (first year of college - we're both 18) and he immediately showed interest in me. He also became my lab partner and 3 days after meeting him, he told me he liked me through a drunk text. I was kinda turned off by that and I didn't actually have feelings for him, and also since school just started, I said we should be friends. But everything was cool after that, there wasn't any awkwardness or anything. Then a couple weeks later, he got a girlfriend who lived in his hometown 2 hours away (it didn't matter to me). But after a month and half, they started having problems, and they broke up - he didn't seem upset at all about the breakup. He said that he stopped liking her a little while ago, because she was talking to other guys and they were communicating less. They're not even Facebook friends anymore. Also during this time, I started to fall for him. After they broke up, I started talking/texting him more, and he immediately showed interest back. We were hanging out a lot, then told each other how we felt, and then I started going over to his place and we'd fool around (no sex though). He was so crazy about me, he'd always want to see me and talk to me, and he made it clear that he wanted me. He even asked me to be his girlfriend, but I suggested we take some time, just because he just got out of a relationship, and he was cool with that. Then towards the end of the 4th week since we had started "talking", he told me that he thinks things are going too fast between us, especially since he just got out of a relationship, and he's not sure if he's ready for another one just yet. He said he just needed some time off to figure out his feelings. So we took a "break" for almost 3 weeks, but during this time, I still tried to talk to him and kept in contact with him (I was the one who initiated), I just wanted to see and talk to him, and then he finally said okay. When we talked, he realized how much he had missed me and that he still does have feelings for me and wants to be with me. He said that he was such an idiot for letting me go like that. So we basically patched things back up, but we weren't official or anything. But we continued to do what we were doing before. He kept mentioning to me that he's thinking about us dating and what it would be like to call me his girlfriend. We even talked about sex, and how he would be my first (I'm a virgin, he's slept with 2 girls in the past) and he really respected me for that, and would be honored if he was my first. I also told him I was afraid that he would drop me again, but he said that he didn't drop me, he was just sorting out his feelings, and now he knows he wants me and only me, so he's not going anywhere. We even talked a little bit about the future (what we'd do during the next semester and the summer).A week after he said that, he sent me an email saying that he wanted to make us work, but he doesn't know why, but it's just not working for him, but he still wants to be friends. I did not see this one coming at all. I haven't talked to him since he sent that email, which was two and half weeks ago. It's really hard for me, because he's the furthest I've gone with a guy emotionally and physically. And I've never felt this way about a guy before. And also, I'm not trying to be mean, but everyone tells me I'm out of his league. I know looks don't mean anything, but he told me I was the most attractive girl he's ever met (A lot of people - friends/strangers tell me I should become a supermodel). And I'm a really nice person, I don't have an ugly personality or anything, so why would he do that? He lost his phone the week that he "dumped" me, but then he got a new one - but lost all his contacts, so he doesn't have my number at the moment. On facebook, he posted a couple statuses about how people should text him their number if they want him to have it. A few days ago, he also posted a song which is about regrets from relationships and another song about how the singer will never get over this girl. So:- Why do you think he suddenly stopped liking me/didn't want to be with me anymore? He used to be crazy about me. He used to like me more than I liked him. So what happened? - Should I text him my number at all? Make any initiative to reach out to/contact him at all?I know I shouldn't go running back into his arms, even if he does open them up for me, but I still keep thinking about him, a lot. When I go to bed I'm thinking about him, when I wake up I'm thinking about him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's been three weeks since the two of us have talked, and I still miss him/think about him a lot. He still continues to post things about regret and not being able to get over a certain girl on facebook...I'm not sure if it's just random stuff he's posting, or if he's trying to talk about me or someone else.Should I still wait and see what happens? Or should I approach him? Or should I just forget it all?
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 January 2011):
 His heart and head are in conflict. He wants a relationship although he's not quite ready for it. It may take over years to get over a lost love. He only said he wants only you so that he wouldn't lose you to someone else. You being a virgin only adds to his stress of unintentionally hurting you later should the relationship not work out because first loves are always so memorable. Although he went through breaks he's still not ready. He's telling you he still likes you but you should not wait for him. When people say they want to be friends, it may be a nicer way to say he doesn't bother with you. In case he really meant what he said. Be his friend, the best friend ever. When he knows that you enjoy spending time with him, that's all it matters. But if your passion, impatience gets in the way of enjoying his friendship, it may be wise to just look for a more available guy.
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