A
female
age
30-35,
*.G.A
writes:I have been separated with my boyfriend for almost 5 months because he has to go back to his country to continue his study. He studied here for 10 months, and we used to be sharemates then we fell in love each other, aNd we went through our relationship for almost 8 months, by the times there are a lot of things happened, furthermore myself, I considered a lot about our future, firstly he told me just go through it, because we dont know what is going to happen, so just enjoy it, and I just listened to him. But I really couldnt enjoy the relationship especially when I remembered that the farewell is coming soon, I was always anxious, worried, fear, and cried sometimes. But he didnt feel the way I did, I always asked him to promise me but he always told me that life has no guarantee, in other hand he told me that he loves me so much, until one day I told him to just b friends is better until when he really came back to me I promised to have the relationship with him, but he got upset, so I explained again to him about my feeling then finally he got an idea to transfer his uni to here, and he said he would try hard for that, so I got relieved on that time and continued our relationship again with the happy times then finally the bad timing came to start to break our relationship again, in this time both of us having final exam and I also got heaps of assignment to do, so we didnt see very often for almost 2 weeks by the time he finished his test first then he said wanted to go to travel for 2 weeks and I just let him go for refreshing. Before that we met up and he was still warm to me and I asked him to not forget to give me a call after that at least 1 text a day is more than enough, and he promised me will contact me. However just after 2 days he didnt contact me, I was starting to worry about him and called him but he didnt pick up my phone and he said he sent me a sms said that he forgot to bring charger and need to save his battery, I just couldnt understand that he didnt think bout my feeling why didnt he tell me earlier before I gave him a call, if his mobile was totally off aNd I should have been waiting for 2 weeks then what was gonna happen to me? While I was having my exam and I couldnt focus on my study at all. aNd when he came back I was trying not to be angry and would love to talk nicely with him but the thing was he didnt apologize nicely to me while when he met me just say hello, He was like a stranger, so I started got bad temper again and I finally uneasily asked him that he would like to keep the relationship or no actually? aNd he asked me that I would like to break up? aNd of course I didnt want it! I really live him all by my heart! He said he wanted to think about it, when I heard this answer my heart was burnt and I cried, even when I cried he didnt care about me anymore. he totally changed after this, he became so cold, he told me that after his travel he realized that he is a real backpacker and realized that there are a lot of things he didnt know before. So I cried for a whole night, I just felt like my heart all broken down. In the early morning I called my older brother and told him everything, my brother asked me to leave him because he doesnt love me truely. While my friends told me that I should tell him to break up. Finally, I went as what my friends suggested and instantly I called my bf in the night time and asked to break up without think any longer, firstly I thought I might able to get rid of this and I wont feel any pain anymore. However I was wrong, My heart rebelled to find him back, I called back my bf many times but he didnt want to pick up my phone and he sent me sms told me that he didnt know what to do while I kept crying and almost passed out and finally he wanted to meet me, after had a discussion, we went back to the relationship, in this time he was fine sometimes was nice but sometimes was cold, and I automatically afraid of him, always tried to do my best for him, i still asked him sometimes that he still loves me or no? He told me that he loves me.The last but not least, when I sent him off in the airport he told me that he loved me and wanted to keep in touch, he said he would call me soon, I said I would wait for his phones call. However he didnt call me and deleted me from his messanger, when I found out I was extremely stressed until now Im not able to forget him, I know this is stupid, but I really cant understand his thought, why did he do this to me? I cant even feel interested to other guy, eventhough how mean my boyfriend is I still keep missing him, and this feeling really killing me somehow. I dont want to have the second experience, please tell me am I not good enough to be a good girlfriend? What should I have done to actually made him to understand my feeling? This is really sad and unfair for me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 October 2011):
 I am afraid your brother was right. He doesn't love you the way that you loved him. Yes am pretty sure that he cared about you, but I think you might have got to clingy for him to deal with. It sounds like after he came back from his two week trip away and you got angry he felt like he no longer wanted to be in the relationship and that he wanted to go travelling. Don't blame yourself for this, it is his choice and his loss. It will get better in time, you just need to accept that the relationship is over and now start concentrating on getting over it and moving forward in your life.
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