A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HeyI've recently broken up with my (ex) boyfriend who has been cheating on me. I can't seem to move on, he is all I ever think about. I've blocked him on Facebook many times but then I unblock him so we can talk. We have tried many many times to work it out and I'm always the first to start the arguments because I am still upset and hurt. We've been texting for a while now just not seeing eachother and when we talk (talking like we're back together and stuff) all I want is to be single and to be leave him for good. But when we go weeks and weeks without talking I MISS HIM so much and all I want to do is hear his voice. What's wrong with me? and I've been living somewhere else, moved away from home to attend college and to be away from him.. I've been here for 2 months and at the same time, his best friend and I moved away.. they've always been close. and ever since I moved here, I slept with his best friend twice, and I don't why I feel really guilty and don't want to hurt him. But I also want to tell him I cheated on him with his best friend just to hurt him but I am too soft hearted and wouldn't want him to know, ever. But I like the fact that I cheated too, I don't know why. But I'm scared to tell him, I want to tell him because I'd like to have pay back and hurt him as well. I know I would hurt him because I've seen him cry for me before I left for college and he did stuff that he wasn't supposed to do (hurting himself) I don't understand why he cheated on me if he said he loves me. I tell him all the time that I don't understand..help?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 October 2012):
 actually I think you want to tell him you slept with his bf so he would stop contacting you and do what you know needs to be done which is go No Contact.
DO NOT listen to the words coming out of his mouth.. WORDS mean nothing.. action means everything.
he cheated on you.. he does not love or respect you
YOU cheated on him, you do not love or respect him.
Just because someone says "I love you" does not make it so.
they may THINK they do. but perhaps they don't know what love really is....
or perhaps they know that saying it is enough in many cases to keep the other person tethered to them.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2012): He doesn't love you because love would stop him from cheating on you when he has the chance. You've let him walk all over you and as a a result he knows sooner or later you'll come back to him. And sleeping with his best friend just to get back at him won't help either.
Enjoy your life and move on, try to make new friends and you'll find the process gets a little easier.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (17 October 2012):
 Hi,
Is not always easy to break up especially in this case when you gave your heart/all in the relationship and you felt betrayed. why did he cheat? My answer would be because he can. Is that simple and for me if my boyfriend was to ever do that i personally would not trust him again.I think you did the right thing of breaking up with him. don't worry the hurt it will fizzle out with time. You are still very young and i am sure you will meet someone else .
As for his best friend. Did you really cheat on him? No because he is now your ex. Although sleeping with his best friend isn't ideal I don't see why you need to tell him. You shouldn't be doing anything to hurt him but instead think more of yourself from now amd leave matters in the past.
I would advise you to make the most out of college. Join the very many societies they have and make lots of new friends. You can do move on we all did at one point in our lives.
Hugs
Kelly
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2012): By sleeping with his best friend, no matter how you justify it, you can never go back to him. You need to be strong let go and move on. This relationship is doomed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2012): Well you stooped down to his level and much worse, slept with his best friend. Now he has someone who isn't a true friend, and a completely dishonest and backstabbing relationship both ways, two wrongs definitely don't make a right. I'm not what so ever trying to stand up for his cheating, but being fare to him maybe you weren't being that great of a girlfriend either, and your reasoning for cheating is just to hurt him when you know he can do self harm. Best if you just avoided them both, get out of there lives and let everyone move on. He'll sooner or later see that his friend is not really a friend, and you will find someone else if you give it a chance. Block them both and never unblock them either for none of you are good for each other. Why both you may be wondering, do you really want to be friends with someone or date someone that is willing to do that to there best friend?
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