A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello Aunts and Uncles.. I'll make this as quick as possible..I have been working at my company for 8 months now. I have a few bosses here, but there is one in particular who I am so incredibly attracted to. From the minute I met him in our interview, I was almost taken aback by how handsome he was. The weird part, was that even though I was attracted to him, I could sense he felt the same way towards me.. Anyways, I started working at a smaller company owned by the company I interviewed for. I figured that I would hardly ever see my boss that I interviewed with but the exact opposite happened actually.. I see him almost everyday. Its usually only for a few minutes as he either stops by our place or I go over to where is working at. Originally, I just thought he looked good.. But things changed when I found out he actually did have a thing for me..He started flirting with me. It was mild, but it basically made me even more interested to where I couldn't wait to run into him everyday. As time passed, he would flirt with me more and more but he stopped for a while once he started to think I was "too young" and that I had a crush on him. Which even though that is true, I never said anything, I never flirted with him or made my feelings known, it was always him.Well, since then, I started to feel very guilty for being attracted to an older guy who is married. I tried to let it go but whenever I saw him, I would get all flushed out again like it was the very first time. We've talk a lot more since then and it turns out we have a lot in common... We both graduated from the same high school, we have the same birthday, play the same video games, we live in the same neighborhood (yes, we are actually neighbors), and we go to the same gym, along with more things..Because of my feelings, I try to dodge him. I try to go to the gym when he isn't there, I try not to talk to him at all or run into him around our neighborhood but it doesn't work. I always run into him and the feelings of attraction get stronger.Even today, he came over for a bit and he was on the phone and he smiled at me. I tried to look uninterested and just gave him a nod. He then came up to me and gave me some chocolate.. Later, I told him I had talked to a client who kept calling me "sweetie" and that I thought the guy was nice. When I walked away, he called out to me and said "thanks sweetie" and smiled. And before he left, he told me he would see me tomorrow at the gym for leg day. He does stuff like this often.. If I say hi to other male co-workers in front of him, or hug them, he'll tell me it makes him jealous, or if he doesn't see me at the gym, he'll say he missed me. Its gotten more tame, he used to tell me how good I looked like all the time, but not so much anymore. Really, I just need some tips. I can't shake my crush. Any advice on how to move past this?
View related questions:
co-worker, crush, flirt, jealous, my boss, video games Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (22 January 2017):
 Anonymous said it best, he is being very inappropriate.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2017): Sweetie, he is just a big flirt with ego problems. He is behaving unbelievably inappropriately. He likely does that to other young, pretty girls.He is probably not going to follow through on anything. He is married and likely just having some fun flirting around. And abusing his power. I think it is wrong and mean of him by the way to play with your feelings. He is most likely aware you have them. No married man should be engaging the way he is. Even for fun. He needs a lesson on boundaries. No good comes of it. Some people can handle harmless flirting - although personally I do not believe there is such a thing - but it always gives the wrong impression or message. And often leads people on. And it is just hurtful all around.He is a total ass. He has no business acting this way and saying these things to an employee in the work place. Especially an impressionable young woman. Some people lack decorum, good sense, professionalism and respectability.He is a power position AND he is MARRIED. Please stay away. No good can come of this.You are much too young to be spun around in his web. He is seasoned and knows what he is doing, sweetie. Protect yourself. I would suggest another job right away. I used to be your age and work in an office with lots of older married guys. They would all flirt and say and do the very same things. They all have the SAME M.O. And I had a crush on the president of the company. He was younger compared to the others and hip and all that. He did bodybuilding and we had lots in common too. But he had a WIFE. It stopped right there.Eventually, my crush FADED once I started to see the kind of a man he really WAS. Do you want a GOOD GUY? Or a flirty, potentially cheating man who uses his position of authority to his advantage? This is not a good man. And if you really think about that, it will turn you off. How do you think his wife would feel knowing he is flirting around like that with a young woman? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL if he was your husband and he was flirting around with a young woman behind YOUR back? Because he does and he would. Men like this never change. If I had a dollar for every guy who fits this description in every work place around the world, I would be richer than Donald Trump! At the of the day, this man has no character or integrity. Just think to yourself how LUCKY YOU ARE that you are NOT his WIFE! Hope this helps sweetie. But I highly suggest you stop this interaction with him. Stop flirting and showing him attention and do your job. That is why you are there. Focus on that. And I highly suggest finding another job. This place is a SMALLER company which is dangerous in and of itself. You can do it. You are a strong woman! You deserve better than this piece of trash! And the sooner you start seeing him for what he is, the sooner you will get over him!
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (20 January 2017):
 Is there any chance you can change jobs? There is a multitude of answers on this topic on Dear Cupid and you should consult the files for the nuggets of wisdom on workplace romance.
...............................
|
