A
male
age
30-35,
*c23
writes:i dont know what to do, i'm tired of just being the friend. i've been in love with this girl i've known for the past 2 years now and she became my bestfriend. i've never felt so comfortable around a girl like i am whenever i'm with her. i've helped her through so many bad relationships that she has been through, and i've told her on many occasions on how i felt about her and believe that we should be together, she says she feels the same way but fears losing me as a friend if it doesnt work out.then couple of months go by, she starts flirting with me and says how "we were meant to be and yadi yada" ive told her i've been telling her that since day one and she goes back and says she knows but still fears if it doesnt work out that she'd lose me as a friend. and lately its making me sick everytime she comes to me when she's having problems with her boyfriend. i've been able to put up with it in the past but now its just making me feel like going crazy. i dont know what to do.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 November 2008):
You put yourself in the friend position for her to have as constant emotional support. So if you remain doing this then it's no wonder she doesn't want things to change.
And it's no wonder her boyfriends aren't incredibly happy with her when they know she has you sniffing round constantly trying to steal her away.
So you need to tell her that you can't do this any more and you can't just be a friend and watch her go off with other guys and constantly hurt you and lead you on. Then tell her that if she wants to give things a real go in a relationship then she can give you a call but until then you have to go and try and get over her.
Once you are gone from her life then she might decide to give things a try.
She may also get very upset and put the guilt on you and want to be friends again.
Either that or you can just wait till she's single and flirts and says something about being together and then make a move.
Or you can just stay where you are - like a fuck buddy but rather than sex, it's all the other emotional intimacy instead.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, me:] +, writes (2 November 2008):
If she really meant that she likes you and want to be with you then she would take the risk and be with you. But if not it just means she really just wants you as friends and that means alot to her. I think you need some time apart as friends and maybe that give her time to think about what she really wants. because your dying not being with her. also im sorry about your situation, i know it hurts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): This is normal that you would fall for your best friend. All you need to do right now is let her go. Especially after you told her how you felt. Just wait for her to come to you. And dont let it get to you. Act like it dont bother you. I am in the same position and it also drives me crazy but all you have to do is let go.
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