A
male
age
,
*oormatt with feelings
writes:I am offended when women say they can get sex whenever they want, or that they have someone, but its only for sex. do I not respect women? Why am i offended.. ive always been faithful in relationships so i guess i dont understand, but three weeks into one relationship, recently I got the Fuck-buddy alert and she seemed proud of it.. and then she said dont be mad.. I wasnt mad but i do think i internalized it.. and dont quite trust as i could or would have otherwise.. Is it too much to ask that as a man id rather not know, because as a man im not allowed to air these things.. why should women be.. its arrogant and rude i think.. what bothers me the most is that i think its meant to emasculate... am i wrong here?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Some men need for their ego that a women is falling in love with him, desiring him and trusting him; certain men aren't interested in the non ego-massaging experience of being with a woman who just wants them for sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Are you wrong? Yes and no.
You're not wrong to feel that way about rather not knowing, most guys would rather not know. Look women's sexual freedom is still a very new concept. They only really gained that when contraception came around, I mean my Grandmother was telling me recently that in her time women had to get married to have sex. Not just because it was the way things were done, but because you were going to get pregnant from having regular sex and being a single mother back then was incomprehensible. She had 12 kids and said she only had 12 kids because she loved sex and there was no contraception back then so kids were part of the deal.
Even more recently still have women become very open and willing to have a lot more casual sex and be a lot more open about it, because they have that freedom now. That's a good thing too. But what women don't realize is now they've gotten their sexual freedom and want to go out an try new things and their attitudes change. We've always had that and so our attitudes didn't really change.
While we're perfectly willing to reap the benefits of their new found freedom many of us still don't view loose women as relationship material. It's going to take a while before the overall attitude of men changes from wanting a loose woman for an easy lay but a virgin (or relatively chaste woman) to marry.
It's not meant to emasculate, that's just a side effect of the change. You see we're used to being the dominant gender when it comes to sex. We're used to being the ones in control, the ones who have the say but now women can exert their own authority on proceedings and do what they want. The big drawback for women though while they go out and do these things is that they can't understand why most guys still have the attitude they do. It's all well and good having sex with girls at parties, one night stands, casual fuck buddy's but once we want to settle most guys don't want a girl who has acted that way in the past.
You have to get over it man, because most women have experimented and had casual sex in the past. That's just the way it is. Times have changed and if you don;t want to ruin your chances of getting a nice woman then you'll learn to deal with that, because a woman's sexual past is usually not an indication of the woman she is now. Unless of course she was very promiscuous because that's usually a sign of a woman or man for that matter, who is just not the settling type.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): yeah,it's nasty but its no more nasty than when men do it
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