A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and dreadfully inexperienced with women, I feel like I'm the only one who hasn't been intimate with a woman. Even if it is just a snog...I'm not naive and have been meeting women and trying to make an impression, but it usually leads to nothing. There are a few other problems:1. I'm picky, most of the women in my college fall into what I would find attractive. This disheartens me as I can't find success with the majority of women and I'm too shallow to even consider the minority of less-attractive women.2. My confidence has been all over the place and I've been trying to fake confidence for the best part of 3 years. I groom well and take good care of my appearance yet I've been really up and really down within short spaces of time. I don't feel secure, but having a gf would make me more secure. It would make me feel normal, not like the loner I consider myself to be.3. I'm too needy. I caught up in a swirl of delusions that if I don't achieve success now I will live the rest of my life alone. I feel like a failure of a human being that I can't do something that should come naturally, I'll need lots of money or a good job to attract women. Nothing else matters because I don't want to be alone.Thanks in advance...
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 A girlfriend is not the key to feeling more secure. That has to come from inside yourself.
It sounds to me like you are trying to hard not to appear desperate, and women can smell that from a mile away. So stop trying so hard and love will come to you when you least expect it.
But you have to stop being so hung up on looks. Even if you landed a really great looking girl what good is she if she is brainless and you can't even hold a conversation with her?
Please read the article on this site called "What men look for in a woman". To see if you are going about all this the right way.
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