| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Why do i find it so hard to give a second chance to a person when i realize that they have been cheating on me or were not honest about certain things and hurt me for some reason. This despite of the fact the person may have realized their mistake and are sorry or are ready to change their attitude towards me. Please advice. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 I have to admit I agree with "Confused88". Trust is the center of any relationship whether your just friends or in a marriage. Once the trust is broken, sure, you want to rebuild that relationship telling yourself it will be different because I decided to change (all of a sudden?). Some people I think will try to change because of fear of what could or may happen without their friend or spouse in their life (I call it fear of the unknown) and others because they sincerely realize they were wrong and want to change because they have that desire in their heart, not because they are scared. Either way, most people can never look at the other the same way - even if they do stay to work it out. A person can forgive someone for whatever they may have done, but that is forgiveness....that doesn't mean that they still will trust you and never forget what happened. That person will have to literally wipe away what happened from their mind and act like it never did. I don't know to many people that can do that..but it can be done..I've heard, just don't know anyone. The reason I say that is because you will be tempted to bring it up when you have the next arguement or difference of opinion - in other words, throw it in their face. Personally, I can give second chances, HOWEVER, it depends on excatly what the circumstance is. Cheating and lying are not one of them though. Only you can make the choice of what you want to do and how you want to handle it...Best of Luck.
A
female
reader, Confused88  +, writes (19 March 2007):
It can be hard to give people second chance because trust is the center of a realationship,
If you feel you cannot trust someone no matter how hard you try you will not be able to be with them properly,
The only ways you can get around this is,
1. Not be with them anymore
2. Allow themselves to prove they are trustworthy
Personally I dont give second chances, but each to their own
Hope this is of help
xxxxxxx
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