A
female
age
30-35,
*eanascia
writes: When I met my current boyfriend, 2 years ago, he was kind of a ladies man, and i accepted it. He was always honest with me, while we were still just friends. He started to develop feelings, as did i. SO we finally gave it the title. My best friend was always causing problems, and through a series of events me and her are no longer friends. I moved in with him, into a house attached to his family's business. He does not work, except at the family business and makes barely $75 a week. I didn't have a problem with supporting him, and i still don't, its my personal option. WHen we moved in i noticed that he was still single on his fb ect. So i asked him to change them and we attached each other to our facebooks, then she started texting and calling to find out who i was, and anything she could find out about me. At first i didnt mind because my friends did they same when they found out. I noticed that she was getting worse. In 1 weekend she had called 36 times. I did not know how many texts because he deleted everything. Every time she did this i told him that she will be a major problem in our relationship. And i told her personally. (through texts, she lives 30 miles away) She did this at least 1-2 weeks out of every month. After 6 months i told him to choose, me or her. He chose me, and deleted her number. Me being suspicious i saved her number in my phone to have it. He got into the shower one day and i type in her phone number....It was still programmed under his oldest guy friends name. So naturally i flipped. We worked past it while i regained my trust for him, and he wasn't to hang out with her alone. He regained my trust. I went out with my friends he was out with his to play a game. While out i texted him and told him he had regained my trust 100% and he could hang out with her if he wanted to, but if he messed up it was over. I'd be gone. I was out with my friends at a club and started to not feel good at all. From the bathroom i called him 6 times, no answer. Texts numerous, no answer. Finally over an hour later he texts "Are you okay?" I told him no, i feel sick and im mad he didn't answer. He told me he went to the reservation to get cigarettes, which was about 50 miles from the city we were at. I told him i was goin to be home in half an hour, and he had better be there when i was so he could unlock the door. He was, but i was mad. So our fight it included alot of him tellin me that the phone wasnt on ect. His phone is alway on, and while he's driving, its always in his pocket or on his lap. I moved past, about a month later i read an agry text from her saying "You only use me for sex" My heart hit the floor. I texted back(off his phone) "when was the last timew we did anything?" "last time you were out here. Did you forget you F***ed my t*** in your car" I put the phone on the table, told him that he should read the conversation, and i was going to get ready to go to work. I did, and left for work without a word to him. When i got home he told me it was a simple mistake, and to please forgive him. He begged and cried. So i didn't tell him i would, but i told him i would try. Its been almost 2 months since, and i still think about that day. I still think about what they did, and the lack of respect for me. I have a blanket over the seat it happened on. My question is how do i move on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): My boyfriend just lied to me without the cheating part and a year later I still haven't rebuilt my trust. I'd say break up with him and move on. Find a guy who worships the ground you walk on and would never hurt you like that. Please. Remember you did NOT deserve this. Good luck, babe.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): You weren't able to change him from player to faithful? Shocking!!!
My sarcasm has a point to it, figure it out.
How do you move on, by physically moving out. He's cheated and lied to you under your nose over and over again, he's going to do it again, over and over again and each time you'll take him back.
So if you want to move on from this then just accept that he'll never truly be satisfied with just you, he'll keep needing to be with other girls because that's who he is. He has no money, he has girl who will pay his way and he gets sex from lots of other girls. Yes lots, she wasn't the first, nor the only one and she won't be the last.
Either you leave or you just accept that he's going to keep hurting you, that's that. You're choice. You have nothing to complain about because you knew he was like this, you knew you couldn't change him (at least you do know) so you just have to get on with it. Just keep telling him that you don't like him doing that, the next time you find a condom in his truck or text on his phone. Just suck it up and say he hurt you again, get him to promise not to do it again and everything will be fine until the next time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): that sounds horrible... i would not want to forgive him. He does not deserve you. You should get away, if he drives 50 miles for sex i think its more than that. Maybe just a FWB thing but still its sad. Hes a loser!! Leave him and get a guy you deserve.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Oh dear, you never go out with the ladies man he's just not boyfriend material. You knew he was one from the get go but you still proceeded. I avoid them like the plague.
The thing is you can't really forgive him because there is no trust anymore in this relationship..that's why you saved her number and looked through his phone a month later.
He abused the privileges you gave him. You also knew that this girl was going to be a problem from the beginning, what confuses me is why did you make him choose but later allow him to hang out with her? Did you know that no matter what you couldn't stop him anyways? In a way, you set yourself up for this in the beginning. He's always been a ladies man, are you surprised that he's been sneaking around with this girl behind your back?
It's in your best interest to let him go, he can never be 100% faithful to you, and you will never trust him. No trust=no relationship.
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