A
female
age
41-50,
*nluckyinlove1976
writes:Hi,I am at my wits end... I have been in a relationship for 2 and half years, most of which has been bad, but I can't seem to walk away and when I do decide to get my head together he comes back and wants me again, I love him so much but can't figure out why??He is very controlling but then so am I, I am the first to admit that I am jealous and insecure, but I did catch him with another girl 6 months after we met, but I was insecure before this... He has also hit me twice spat in my face and kicked a gate at my dog (he has a temper) I have a daughter who's 3 she calls him dad, her real dad never wanted to know her, she is very close to him, sometimes i think that this is one of the reasons I can't leave it. He doesn't live with us so thats not an issue. My daughter told me the other day that her Daddy doesn't like me, he says that he hates me all the time, he says that he can't stand me and is always calling me names, even infront of my daughter? She seems to have more sense than I do, she tells me not to speak to him on the phone, she sees how upset i get.Anyway, we have fallen out again and I'm trying my hardest to leave it and would like some help. It's either gonna go 2 ways he won't want to know and I'll make a fool of myself begging and pleading for him to have me back, or I'll be ok and he'll weedle his way in but say that he'll give us another go if I 'change'. I am crying as I'm typing this and don't know which way to turn now, I have so many texts on my phone off him saying he doesn't love me or want me, why can't it just sink in, but then even if it does he might come back and want me?? Where do I find the strength to walk away and as he says, 'get a back bone' I am usually a strong person and my friends are amazed at the change in me, he has total control over me??Please any advice would be greatly appreciated..
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Dear PosterI am so sorry for the emotional turmoil you are in; You have to TAKE CONTROL of your life. Here and now, this man is aggressive and abusive. Not only is it not right and fair towards you, but you have to think of your child. This is not good for her to witness and experience; She will grow up thinking this is normal and one day will allow men to treat her like this to.I am asking you STOP being the VICTIM of ABUSE. Avoid all contact with this guy. If you don't feel strong enough to do this on your own ask friends or family to help you and support you with this.Think about your future; think about your child; you both deserve so much more.This man is not worthy to be called "daddy" being this abuser. As for your problems with insecurities and other issues; that can be dealt with and yes, you will need to address them, but first things first.Now your safety and that of your child is the most important priority.STOP all contact with this abuser. If need, should he not leave you alone and stay away from you or stop contacting you; go to the police or get a restraining order.Take good care of yourself and your little one. Give her extra love and attention.Keep me posted.Lots of hugs and smiles to you and your little girl.Let today the beginning of a NEW LIFE for you and your little girl.
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