A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I have just broke ot off with my fwb I was sleeping with him for almost a year I now know why I satyed with him so long he treated me horribly I think it was because I'm so lonely I'm only 25 and I'm a single mum to a 4 year old son I don't go anywhere to meet anyone and I really want to settle down now I've been badly hurt in the past by every man I've ever been in love with my friends and family are always telling me I'm very attractive so what can I do to meet somene special any suggestions thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): OP you have just broken it off with an absolute prick, why are you in such a hurry to find another one?
You need to work on you and be happy being you first. A woman that lets herself be treated like shit has things about herself to fix before she should date OP. Even nice guys will take advantage of you if you enter into a relationship from a position of weakness, and desperation due to loneliness is a sure fire way to end up dating another prick and letting him walk all over you again. You don't need a man, you need a strong independent you. We men are not the answer to your problems OP and the guys who want to be white knights are generally the type of fucked up loser you've been seeing this past year. we want to be your partner not your problem solver.
You have only just broken this one off, don't get into something else right now, don't go near men until you've gotten over him and after that don't go near them until you've gotten rid of your desperation.
You're lonely? Then start meeting up with your friends more, start taking your son to play dates and parties with other parents, leave him at your parents a few evenings a week and take some exercise classes or other social activity. Children aren't a prison OP, they're an opportunity to meet other parents all while taking your son places and having fun with him.
You may be attractive OP but you have baggage at the moment and the only guys who want to take on a girl with baggage (I'm not talking about your son) are creeps and fuckers. You know this OP, surely you have friends that are absolutely horrible when it comes to guys and always end up with absolute creeps, you know the type of woman that would rather be fucked over than alone because at least pain is something. Now look around at your friends that are successful with guys, are dating or marrying lovely men, see the difference on how they approach things? It seems so easy to them doesn't it? They seem lucky. Well they're not lucky OP, they're just okay with who they are, they're happy being them and they're generally ruthless when it comes to guys treating them badly because they don't fear being alone as much as you do.
First off take your time and get over this guy or the next guy you get with will have complete control over you again because you're too weak emotionally now to stand up to anyone. Secondly get rid of your loneliness by being with friends, family, getting out there and being more sociable. Thirdly buy yourself a really good vibrator and have some solo fun to quell your sexual urges a bit.
Be patient, good things come to those that wait, but while you're waiting why not have a bit of fun not having a man in your life for a while. You're free OP, this is a good thing.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 do you work, go to school, or have hobbies that take you places where you could meet folks?
what about a religious organization like a church or synagogue?
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