A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Here is one for you.. You see a girl for two years, she sees someone’s, you say fair enough ask no questions and say if its what you want good luck with it, heartbroken you get on with it. Weeks later she cries saying it is all a mess you are kind offer words of support but never ask her back. The year continues, you act ok cool, calm, you improve yourself, everyone says you look well, except one person !! You get strange mixed behaviour from her, at times you feel like the public enemy, you cause no problem, don’t judge or call names. You work in the same building, you are professional and civil. You text make small talk sometimes you get a reply sometimes you don’t.The other guy works there to but you know he is a player, in actual fact is staff hate him, me I am popular friendly and have time for everyone (complete contrast , chalk and cheese).She continues with odd things like when I say what is your problem with me I get “there is no short answer “ or I ask how was your birthday I get “ its my birthday but don’t have a lot to smile about “.For the first half of the year (the break up was January ) she barley spoke to me, then she started to, I gave her space.In July I got fed up and said can we please draw a line under it have a coffee, a laugh and draw a line under it, you’ve moved on can you please help me ?? She refuses and starts to cry !!!!!!!!?????I back off completely recently she has followed me in rooms at first I thought it was my imagination, then one time was so obvious, I make small talk and leave. I don’t know what she wants ???James Morrison was the man that reminds me of her with his songs, you may or may not know he has a new album out… I want this sorted I’m trying to show her , hey I forgive you, forgive yourself type attitude. I send her an email joke and say and I have something for you. I then see her and she says why didn’t you put the thing in your pocket, I explain its too big.Later I send it her via the internal mail, saying, this man reminds me of the good feeling you gave me, please enjoy it my compliments.I later text her and say did you get your cd ? She replies “Hi, yep got it” I reply back “ I hope it didn’t offend you and did you enjoy it ?” No reply. ??A few days earlier she was following me in rooms ? I haven’t asked anything form her, being friendly etc. I know she is still seeing the other guy but trust me when I say he is a player.My dilemma is simple where and when did I become public enemy number one, I have not behaved with dignity, made it easy for her ? What does she want me to do or say ? How should I be with her ???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Maybe she thinks you gave up too easy?
Then again, maybe she's confused and doesn't know what to think...sounds like she has some growing up to do and will learn life lessons the hard way if she's dating a player.
You should try to keep very little contact with her as she sorts out her feelings. If she notices a change in you, you can be honest to let her know you care about her, but must move on in life (date other women...?) because she's made her choice.
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