A
male
age
30-35,
*1lversapp
writes:Hello everyone.Let me begin by saying that I am sixteen years old and in high school.Anyway, it all began at the end of October, 2007. I and a group of friends had been filming a series of Harry Potter-esque spoof videos at a house of a friend of mine. It was during these sessions that I began to gain an amount of respect for my friend's younger sister. This would be her first year in high school, and my third. Thus, the age difference was somewhat significant, but not terribly so. Anyway, I asked this girl to the homecoming dance at my school, to which she graciously accepted. We had a great time, and it was at this dance that I began to realize I really liked this girl. I even realized, while writing a short story for my German class, that the girl (the subject of interest) in the story was a perfect description of her. She discovered the story and called it the sweetest thing she'd ever read. So after talking online nearly every night for a few weeks, seeing her at school, etc., I asked her if she would "officially" be my girlfriend on a date we went on. She replied "it's about time," and so it started.Everything was progressing wonderfully for about a month. We would see each other at school, sometimes hang out after school, and go out nearly every weekend. I even kissed her a few times. She's got a wonderful personality and the most beautiful red hair you've ever seen.Right before Christmas, she began to quiet down. She would not sign onto Google Talk (the online chat client we were using) as often, and eventually, the frequency trickled down to never. She seemed to become less and less happy to see me as the days drew on, and became less and less talkative on dates. Eventually, right before New Year's, she called the relationship off, but made sure to mention that I'm "still awesome" and she hopes that we remain "friends, tight friends." You know, the normal, clichéd sayings of a peaceful breakup.I thought I'd get over it relatively quickly, but the amount I think of her has not diminished a bit. Throughout the course of the relationship, I had also developed friendships with her friends, who have, since the breakup, told me that she still does, indeed, think I'm "still awesome." However, I have also learned that she now has a crush on another one of my friends from school (in my grade), and he likes her right back. I know that nothing can be done or should be done about her liking my friend. I don't own her or anything. And I know that I should keep my distance for a while and wait until the "awkward period" between us has calmed down a little bit before pursuing a renewed friendship. My questions are these: When will I know that it's time to attempt to resume contact with her? Would there be any chance that, in the future, a romantic relationship can be reattained, or is not enough information given? Shall I confront my friend about the issue and tell him how I feel? Shall I confront HER about the issue?She does not know that I know that she likes my friend. (I'm terribly sorry if that sentence was a beast to understand.) However, I have learned through her friends that she might contact me soon and see how I feel about the issue. If this is the case, how should I respond? Thank you very much; I hope that was not too long of a read, and once again, thanks!
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male
reader, s1lversapp +, writes (10 January 2008):
s1lversapp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, and thank you all so far for the answers. They make sense. I've been giving her space, not trying to contact her or anything for the time being.There's an update: One of her and my mutual friends (a girl) has had a crush on the guy on whom my ex now has a crush. She has contacted me about this, wondering if I still like my ex. She has also suggested that we monitor the relationship and take the opportunities, whenever they are presented, to help out in any way, thus giving us the "good friend" role. I hope that was not too hard to understand!Once again, thank you all, especially Addison, for your help!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Hey, well I will tell you my experience. I was dating this guy who was 2 year older than me, and I was toatly convinced that this was the guy I was going to spend forever with. We meet threw friends, and just where friends for a while then he asked me out. On our fist date we clicked ( i can't explain it you hvae to feel it to know what i mean). Well I had a really bad summer the year we started dating and he helped me threw it, so we where really close. And I honestly couldn't think about anyone but him. ( he was so sweet, My freshman class flew to florida for a trip and I called him crying becasue I missed him so he got on a plane and stayed in florida with me.) Well as you may be able to tell when we broke up I was crushed. I couldn't be around him becasue every time I saw him I just wanted to cry. So heres my advice. Talk to her. Just talk to her, be her friend, and who knows in time it may work out it may not but heres NOT what to do. Don't freak her out. Becasue then she will be afraid of you. I mean if my ex came up to me know and said "I Love you and can't stop thinking about you" I would freak out! So give her time. I promise in time everything heals. I did so you will too. I really hope this helps and I know how you feel. Just know there is someone out there for you, and she may just be to young to realize its you. =-)
with love,
Addison
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Find out where she goes or her daily routine and plan it like you accidentally meet her and just say 'hello'.You need to communicate again with her.
Don't think about romantic adventures or the futures. Just be her friend again.
You should not confront your friend for if he tells her, your chances become nil. You have no right over her friends and you do not own her.
If she tells you ,she prefers your friend, then wished her good luck . Game over.Wait for the next game.
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A
female
reader, Listen lady  +, writes (9 January 2008):
You can check if she still likes you by if you are in the same area of spae does she tend to look at you at all . Or is she too caught up in her own busiiness.
If yo want to show her you still care dontexacly tell her. Do things like opening the door for her if something bad happens comfort her.
If she does get it together with your freind do notget revenge or anything like that. See what happens to thier relatioonship before you try and stop it or anything.
You could speak to her friends maybe about how she feels get thier opinion if she would ever go back out with you.
I think you should act cool to her when she contacts you. Dont go right aheadd and say how ou feel. See how she feels about the matter before you say yours. Otherwise If she says the complete opposite you ont eel like a fool. Also this way you dont have to show that you are still in love with her
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