A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm in love with my best friend. i have been for a year and a bit. it's that simple. i'm just, flat out in love with him. he said he had interest in me when we first met almost 2 years ago. a few months later, i was really dead set on being with him. He went away on a trip for a about a month, we could barely talk while he was gone because he had to way to communicate. i told him about how badly i wanted him while he was there, and he just said stuff like, "im not ready to date because i hang with mostly girls, and i dot want a girlfriend jealous or interfering with that." I suppose that's understandable.. kind of. i claimed it to be more of a personal thing against me, and he claimed it be a personal thing with him. and said he'd call when he got home, give me straight answers, so we could move on. he never gave me those straight answers. he just called me everynight for hours, sometimes more then once a day, tells me everything, and other stuff, and we live in different town. i havn't even seen him in 6 months, and were still that close. the only other person he talks to on the phone is one of his other best friends that's a guy. so i have no idea what kind of signals he's sending me. he said ONCE flat out a year ago, that he was not interested in me. we havn't talked about anything since. only 1 month before that we got drunk, and made out and cuddled and stuff. even THEN he didnt give me a straight answer. and said "maybe sometimes i like you a little.." and he's always encouaging me to kiss him when we're drinking. and he hasn't told ANYONE that he's not into me. he just avoids the subject. im so scared to date somone else and move on too because im afraid as soon as i do, he'll confess feelings. ive broken up with people over this .. i really dont want to do it again. think he's secretly interested? or not? HELP.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): Hello I've been in a very similar situation. You should just be forward and come out and tell him how you feel and that you want to be with him and ask if he wants to be with you now or if he ever sees you two possibly getting together. Whatever his answer just take it and move on with life. It's not worth missing other opportunities and holding up your life on a boy who may never feel the way you want him to. If it's meant to be it will work out one day but in the meantime you are young and should enjoy being young and having other relationships. Now a few notes from my experience, he tells you that you're the only person he really talks to but that may not exactly be true, you say he hangs out with mostly girls well he has to talk to them too sometime. I'm not going to say he's playing games but he's trying to make you feel special by telling you that you're the only one he talks to. And by talking to you so often he's keeping you close and keeping an eye on what you're doing. This is the harsh part, he may be using you as a back up girl in case he ever decides he does want to be with you he's kept you from other guys and kept you close so your easily accessible to him. My advice would be to not be so accessible to him, and trust me I know this is ridiculously hard I'm having to do the same thing right now. But it does work, if he thinks he has a chance of possibly losing you he may just realize he needs to get it together and get with you if he's interested. So try and cut back on how much you talk to him and go out with other people and just live your life. Good Luck
A
female
reader, xgigix  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Tell him how you feel he might confess to his feeling
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