A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently split with my finance of 5 years he moved out but we are still seeing each other. When we talked about the dynamics of our relationship he said he wanted to be friends and still have sex with me. He comes over almost everyday, brings me gifts, gives me money , buys groceries, tells me he loves me, misses me, needs me, wants me, but does not discuss our relationship at all. ( I don't mind this cuz I'm going out on dates with other guys and figure he will let me know what he wants when he is ready)He said this is a break from each other, I agreed cuz I was just about fed up with his emotional and jealousy issues.My question is....at what point should i fill him in on the fact that I am meeting and going out with other guys?any advice?FYI I am only going out on group dates or coffee....nothing serious.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 September 2011):
 It sort of sounds like you aren't officially broken up -- in his eyes at any rate. He is doing nice things for you because he is stringing you along and wants to have sex with you. You are providing a need for him.
He may be testing the dating waters as well.
While you are free to date whomever you want, you really aren't being true to yourself, the guys you are seeing (how would you like to find out that the guy you were seeing was sleeping with his fiancee), and you aren't really being true to him. Someone at some point is going to get hurt with this arrangement and its only a matter of time before it happens.
I think when you posted your dilemma here, you are confused as well. And that means you need to have a talk with your ex-fiancee and explain to him how you are feeling and the confusing messages he is sending you. You need to figure out where you stand with one another and what rules apply. Also you need to decide how long you are willing to wait for your fiancee to come back around. With the game plan you've set up, its unlikely to happen.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): Are u ok with him doing the same?
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