A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I am a young man and I am engaged to a woman who only wants to have sex when "she" wants to. I mean it's really frustrating and has become a burden and forcing me to consider calling off the wedding. We have had discussions about it and she has said things like "she has a low sex drive" or "sex does not do it for her". But then she goes on to say that I knew this before we got together. I don't want to cheat on her,the opportunities are definitely there and I always say no and avoid those situations. I love her and I believe sex is very important in a relationship, but I do not want to marry her and this continues and then I cheat once we are married because she is not fulfilling my needs. As they say what one woman won't do the next will. Please Help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (27 November 2008):
 I totally agree with Fade, if its not working right now, it will not in the future, it will be years before your sex drive is going to fade, I see no reason why you should sacrifice sex, you will just grow to resent her and the relationship if you go ahead with the marriage.
She doesnt seem to be very keen on working this out, which should give you a clue that she might be like that with other issues as well, which is worrying. When a problem arises both should have a go at it.
Whatever you decide, good luck. Marriage is a big step, I might sound old fashioned but for me marriage is the ultimate commitment to this one person for the rest of your life. You are still young, so if something doesnt feel right you still have time to go and find a more suitable partner.
All the best.
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