A
female
age
36-40,
*rincessjasmine
writes:Why would a guy cancel a date that HE asked me out on and then say they'll reschedule but never do? whats the point of asking me out in the first place? whats the point of calling me up and sweet talking me?? i dont get why he even bothered to, or why he bothered to say he had a great time on the first date. im really hurt :( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (9 September 2011):
princessjasmine is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni've had a crush on this guy since last year, the fact that hes a bad boy makes me feel like, ok well we can just hook up and ill be okay with that. its so worth it to me, i just want a piece and then ill be okay...i know he wants to hook up with me, so i think im just gonna ask him out....and invite him over...we dont have to be a couple, we dont have to be boyfriend/gf i know he didnt want that the frist night we officially met (i was drunk and we were making out) then he said ok ill take you out, so i know he jsut wants to hook up and im ok w/that! i think hes not calling me b/c he thinks i want something more b/c i didnt ask him up to my apartment the last time we hung out. anyways, do you think im looking desperate callin him to hook up, he wants it, i want it...no biggie right?
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (8 September 2011):
 That is an incredibily frustrating situation, but here is how you deal with it....
DO NOT put your life on hold for a phone call. Do not put time or energy into waiting for someone who only makes you an option.
A person who is really interested WILL follow thru and get the courage to ask you out to spend time with you.
Now, here is where you need to get some thicker skin and desensitize yourself. When people date, they are just dating. They are trying people on for size like coats to see how they fit with them.
There could be a dozen reasons why he did not continue to pursue you that you do not know about. One date is not a guaurantee to a relationship.
Do not take it personally! He does not really know you and it may have nothing to do with you. Move on. There was no emotional investment in him, your esteem took a knocking.
Dust yourself off and go fill your life with friends, hobbies, meet other people who genuinely take a liking to you. Readjust your attitude and expectations of dating.
Dating should be a social outing where you just ENJOY yourself and socializing with another person. If it does not go further than that, well at least you had a nice time, right? You really did not want to waste your time further with someone who would back out later after you invested more time and feelings. Think about it, he actually does you a favor by letting you know up front he is not going to pursue you actively.
You get to move on and seek out new opportunities without getting caught up in the thoughts wondering if there is something wrong with you, him, etc. Do not waste any more energy on wondering! There are going to be lots of dates that do not progress into anything more. That is OK!
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Usually it's girls who have this sort of inappropriate, unexplainable attitudes but I guess some men too. I think the same rule applies though. Not really interested! Sorry. A man/ woman who is really interested and anxious to get to know someone better does not behave like this. Why they act like this? Insecurities, troubled personalities, don't know what they want, just bad characters who want to feel desirable and give false hopes to others.
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