A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so heres the deal. I was with my ex for nearly 5 years and we have a child together. The relationship ended because of me, and Im willing to admit this. We went almost a year after the break-up without talking (unless ablsolutely neccessary). Recently we have gotten back on "good terms", but she says she dont want another realtionship right now. I have spilled my feelings to her, and apologized for the way I once was. Her friend, her, and I were hanging out one night and she mentioned that if we were ever to get engauged again I would be required to buy another ring (=]women....). Another thing, the other day she mentioned AGAIN that she "had things she needed to do, and wasnt ready for another relationship" as a way to reassure that I understood it.Now my questions. Whats going on in her head? She claims she NOT leading me on, but is she confused? What should I do? Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat actually makes ALOT of sense! I never thought of it that way. I now see that I have tons of making up to do, and I dont mean only making things up to her but making things up to her family and friends as well that had to go through this with her. Sure some of these things can be done by words, but I understand the majority of this will have to come from my actions.
A
female
reader, lotus mama808  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 Interesting. First, I don't know what you have done to disable your relationship, nor do I need to know, however, the people in her life that love and care about her and are aware of your wrong doing are and always have been influencing her decisions when they concern you. She may, in her heart love you, and want to have another go at a relationship with you, but at the same time, the people feeding her common sence and caring words may be giving her the strength to rethink this decision. It is hard to see a loved one go through a major heart ache, and later question wether or not they want to try again with the person who inflicted this pain on them. Give this time, through your actions, it will become obvious what kind of person you are to her, and the people in her life. For now, be her friend, be a good dad, and give respect to those who were there for her when she was hurting over you. She probably is confused, and that is normal.
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