A
female
age
30-35,
*aileyLove
writes:How do younger guys see relationships?I'm 17 and I'm dating a 15 year old guy over the internet. I know, it's silly, and to some, disgusting. But I used to LDR date a LONG time ago, and I quit after I realized how much trust you need to have, and to put simply: I'm absolutely PARANOID.So, I've been dating in real life for some time, but after being single for about 2 months, I came across a cool chat website where I decided to join. I met my boyfriend on there, when we first talked I thought that he was such a cute kid (not attractive-cute, funny-cute). And he asked me out after a week of us talking. I said yes, obviously. He and I text and call each other every now and again. Our relationship is alright, I will admit that it is a little bland, but, after all, he's only 15. I don't expect him to even know the definition of passion yet. But, he's pretty cool, he's in a band, he plays sports, he's exactly the kind of guy I want. But after 3 days of dating he says, "I think I really love you." I knew something was up, love isn't just a word you can say. You have to feel it. So I wondered, "Does he even know what love is?"So, about 2 weeks after he asked me out I find something disturbing. I found a girl's profile FILLED with her saying that she loved "John", my boyfriend, "John". Even pictures of her holding signs saying that she loved him. He encouraged all of it. He commented on every sleazy picture she took of herself, or her boobs. I was torn into absolute pieces. I cried myself to sleep for 3 nights, here, my "perfect" guy was actually human after all, a no-good, lying, cheating, two-faced human. I broke up with him. I knew that he was friends with ALOT of girls, and I know how these girls tick. I've dealt with them before, they think that they can have any guy they want, so they move in on my territory. But I figured that maybe he encouraged ALL of these girls. Which made me even more mad. He and I actually got back together, admist all of his lame-ass excuses, I still, honestly, loved him to pieces. I put EVERYTHING aside and went back out with him. He promised not to talk to anymore girls. I trusted him. And it takes alot for me to trust ANYONE.So, now, I'm seeing a whole new side to him. He's now "John" the drinker, the weed-smoker, the bad-boy girl-charmer, emo-wanna-be. And he's making the lamest excuses ever. I really don't know if I can, honestly, trust him. I mean, he was talking to me about he's going to start drinking with his friends and 5 minutes later he says, "I g2gfbde nowcbh I thiqnnnk I'm goiciwng to pqadcsnss out." Right. I've been drunk before, and even I'm not that stupid. Now he barely replies to my texts. He usually just says, "Yeah" or "Ok", and then end of conversation. He never tells me about school, or anything that goes on with him. He now uses "I love you" when there's nothing else to say. Today he went to a party RIGHT after he got back from school at 3:00. What teenagers throw a party at 3:00?!?! The convo was, "G2g to a party. Love you. Bye." That's it.I know most of you will suggest to just break up with him, but I just can't do that. I lovehim. I really do, otherwise I would've left him earlier.I miss the sweet "John" that said that he wanted to marry me one day, maybe live together. Now I just feel like once I get my license and go see him it'll be a situation of "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Now leave so I can bang my other girlfriend." I want to know what he's hiding from me, but I know if I ask he'll deny everything. But I don't want to break up.DON'T JUDGE!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JamesBM  +, writes (11 September 2010):
When I first read LDR I stopped, honey LDRs are nothing but trouble, take that from a guy with experience. First he can lie and cover things up, he may not even be 'him'. Second he can already have a girlfriend and not tell you about it. Third how do you even call it a relationship if you had never seen him before?
Trust me LDRs are trouble, do what you find right, but if it were me, I'd find a 'real' guy in this 'real' world.
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