A
male
age
41-50,
*opshot_1
writes: I'm in the military and stationed overseas. I'm separated and the wife decided to leave and go back to the states. I ended up seeing this woman and we clicked and we really enjoyed each other's company not just sex. She knew that I was separated but not really comfortable about the idea that she is sleeping with a married man. We were seeing each other about 4-5 times a week for about two months and things were promising. At the end of two months I left for the states for 3 weeks for training. During that time frame, she emailed me that she can no longer do this anymore. I replied that I completely understand and agreed to still stay friends. She would still check up on me a couple times a week while I was in the states. When I finally got back, I would still get invited to her house and help her and her mother peel potatoes to cook dinner. Even though were not technically dating anymore I was still having sex with her once/twice a week. This FWB status suddenly stopped and she just decided to vanish. After a week of nor returning my calls/texts/emails I decided to stop by her work to verify. Her car was outside and her co-worker who knew me was obviously hiding her from me. That experience just verified that she would rather just fade away instead of breaking up. I had feelings for her. I wan't to know why all of a sudden just fade?
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co-worker, married man, military Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 I would send one one last e-mail. Let her know it's the last one and that after that you will respect her wishes. Then let her go.
Sorry.
A
male
reader, topshot_1 +, writes (17 June 2012):
topshot_1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I appreciate the reply. It's been three weeks and I can't believe that it's still affecting me. I'm so naive and keep on thinking to myself that I was getting somewhere with this relationship. I'm not a stalker type, I wrote her through email being apologetic about the whole thing. I'm hoping that she would at least reply back. I don't understand her, sometimes she would crack jokes saying that I'm too nice and she can't piss me off. I basically poured all my attention to her which was lacking from my old marriage. What can i do from here on out? Will she ever contact me? Should I stop sending her emails?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 June 2012):
Because you are still married.
I would back off. I would focus on ending ONE relationship (aka get that divorce) before jumping into another.
Maybe she thought you would be a "free" man faster. Maybe she is getting slack from people because you are still married and she rather not deal with the negative cogitations of being (basically) the Other Woman.
It might also be that she thought you were meeting up with the soon-to-be ex while in the US?
Her morals might differ a lot of your average Americans.
Send her a letter. (paper kind) See what happens.
And kudos for letting her know you were only separated. You could have lied, so many people do that.
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