A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is more a rant than a question, but I'd love to hear all of your input:I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We live together and I thought everything was going so well. We have had our disagreements and arguments, sure. Just like every couple does. But tonight we got into the DUMBEST argument ever. It was literally about whether or not "real" cowboys exist in California. If doesn't and shouldn't mean anything. But of course it turned into something else fast. It quickly turned into a heated battle. I had to physically remove myself from the room to cool off. But it just wouldn't stop. And every little stupid thing wrong with this relationship made an appearance. Even things that happened months ago that I thought we got over. A couple hours later I noticed he posted a video on his facebook of a hot model playing Xbox, drinking beer and eating pizza. In the captions it said "The perfect girlfriend" or something like that. He commented on his own "share" post of it saying, "a dream cum true". Obviously what he was thinking when he posted it was that he wished he had a girlfriend like THAT, instead of like me. It was the most ridiculous thing and THIS is why:I play video games EVERY DAY. And I love that he loves video games and we even play them together. I drink beer almost every day. And we eat pizza like 3 times a week because we both love it. On top of all this, I know I look good. I am in shape and he tells me I am sexy all the time. But what he doesn't understand is that I have DIMENSION to me. I am not a brainless beer-chugging, pizza-eating, video game-playing being. I am more than that. And the girl in the video might SEEM all fun and games, but every person has dimension. In other words, an idea of what you want does not exist. I am a real person, and when he finds another girl who is sexy, plays video games, drinks beer and eats pizza, that girl will ALSO have other aspects of herself that he will clash with. It hurts me that he posted that and commented what he did because it was basically him saying I am not those things, and the search continues. When in reality the ONLY difference between myself and that girl is that she is a 20-second fantasy, and I am a real person. And we have had hours of me being sexy while playing video games, eating pizza, drinking beer.What the hell is my life and what the hell is love? Because this is trippin me out if he is for real right now.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (2 October 2015):
You're really overthinking this. I can pretty much guarantee you that he was just posting a pic of a hot chick (maybe she even reminded him of you, did you ever think of that?) and was not in any way insinuating that he would rather have her than you.
That said, your relationship sounds horribly toxic, and if I were you I'd be thinking about ending it.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 October 2015):
 Perfect woman is not brainless and the perfect love is not about perpetrating the masculine/feminine polarity bullshit.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 October 2015):
I am not sure if he posted the Facebook page to imply he wished someone else was his girlfriend. What if he was drunk and loves to argue? What if he's implying that "perfect girlfriend" was you? Maybe that post was what he found in his email circulations and he felt sharing it on Facebook.
I think the important thing is that after you argue, don't forget to hug each other and say I love you before going to sleep. It's not 1950 anymore. Men can take it when they are wrong. No need to stress out that you are not the perfect girlfriend. Starting from the 1970's men were beginning to show appreciation for independent women.
I am suspecting that he's engaging in arguments to bring back the passion and spark back in the relationship. Some people are energized by debates while you are emotionally hurt and exhausted in the process. You need to let him know this and think of something else as entertainment. If you ever find men who becomes aggressive in order to bring back femininity in you, you need to leave. It's the archaic "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" concept that damages couples, set up conflict, and slows our evolution as humans. No, the perfect woman is not
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