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female
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anonymous
writes: I have met a wonderful man and I think he is going to ask me to marry him soon. I want to be sure I have asked him all the best questions so I know him as well as possible since I may be spending the rest of my life with him. What questions should I be asking him for us to look at our compatibility and emotional, physical and financial safety together ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
 Asking questions and giving out answers to our lives isn't what tells us we are making the right choice in marrying someone we feel it and just know it's right.
As you spend your life with someone you learn something new about them everyday and it's what makes it special as knowing everything from day one gives us nothing new to know or learn.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 Hey Anon,
Whoa! Wait a minute - are you sure you want to marry someone who you seem to really know nothing about?
If you feel the need to ask questions, then I think you should slow down and give your relationship time to grow and blossom. During this time you won't have to ask questions because you will have gotten to know your partner just by spending time with him. (And some of your questions are rather strange - emotional and physical safety?)
Rushing to get married shouldn't be on your mind. You should be happy just being with him right now, even if it means not being married. By the sound of it, you don't even know what he does at his job (since you're quesetioning financial "safey").
And if you do ask him tons of questions, for all you know this might be pressuring him and he'll just answer you with what he thinks you'll want to hear. Then again, maybe he won't do this. Or maybe he'll feel smothered and think it's time to bail out. All the more reason to sit back and get to know each others personalities, etc.
If you take it slow and get to know one another, then you won't have to ask questions. So calm down, girl - if he's the one, he won't be going anywhere! :)
Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 I don't think working out whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone can be about questions and answers. I think the answers to whether or not you are compatible come on a day-to-day basis, in conversation, intimacy and generally just being together. If you want to marry this person, you obviously know him quite well already (I would hope!) so just go with the flow.
Nobody knows every single thing there is to know about someone, but we learn things as we go along with them. Hopefully, that will never be anything that will change our view of them, and somethings will also stay in the past and you'll never find them out.
I think waiting a while until you get married will give you the answers you need about whether this guy is the one. Just give it time and it will all fall into place, or not, depending on whether or not this is meant to be. Good luck.
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