A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What should you feel in the early stages of a relationship? I know it's not all butterflies and hearts racing, but my new boyfriend leaves me feeling almost indifferent and I don't know why. We've been together for a couple of months now and we hang out together nearly all the time... I really enjoy spending time with him. He's smart and funny and pretty much everything I want in a partner. But should I keep going with this if I"m not feeling anything yet? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): Well, usually in the early stages of a relationship, things feel all exciting and new. You want to spend as much time as possible with that person, it can be all hearts and flowers, you look at the world with rose-tinted glasses...or at least, that is what I have heard! It does seem a little unusual that you feel indifferent. Do you like him in more of a friendly way than as a boyfriend? Or do you think you could be spending a bit too much time with each other? Maybe if you spent a bit of time apart to do your own things for a while, it might make things feel different.
Are you happy to be with him? If you are happy with him, then I think it doesn't matter what it is like for you, and what you are experiencing. If it is not exciting or passionate or whatever for you, but you are happy being with him, then I think it doesn't matter. Everybody is different, and every relationship is different. It may even be that you will feel more towards him as time goes on and you get to know him better.
But if you feel a real lack of feelings towards him, like you don't care or are not interested, or if you are just not happy, then I think I would be a bit concerned about that. I think you need to ask yourself if you are really happy to be in a relationship with him...and depending on the answer, do what you feel is right for you. Good luck. x
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