A
male
age
41-50,
*ayJay101
writes:Well i have a question to ask the community i just recently broke up with my ex fiancee i want to give some sort of background we together for 6 years we had our ups and down i was very immature and lied because she had trust issues with me i admit it was my fault i was very immature i did not know better but now i do its just sad that it had to take me losing her for me to find out but that's life and it gives you hard lessons we broke up 7 months ago we talked for 5-6 months just me trying to get her back but recently last month we have not talked at all she messages me for happy xmas and happy bday but that's all i have been very hurt and i want her back more than anything but i have left her alone because all she wanted to be was just friends and i could not do that it would hurt so much.I said we shouldnt talk she has told my sister since that she wanted to be friends and she would have not been ok with me having a girlfriend if we stayed friends so i said it would be best for both of us to just stop talking so we did now i still want her back and miss her so much i want to send her something for valentine's day i just want to know what exactly i should send her i dont want to make it seem like im using it to get her back because im not i just want to send her something real nice because she meant alot to me so if you ladies and guys also can give me some suggestions? i would really appreciate it thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, whitedove1968 +, writes (1 February 2011):
U need time to heal and grow and learn from this relationship. go back is a really bad idea. try going to counseling groups and talk it out. u'll find that you're going to be much happier later on in life. you're still young and this won't haunt you forever.
if you want to send her a gift and say "thank you" for giving you the insight into yourself. that's cool. a box of chocolates (even heart shaped one-you have after all been romantically involved in the past) BUT it cannot have strings or your emotions attached to it. if you attach emotion to it, u may ruin what friendship is left out of your relationship.
if you cannot detach ur emotions, don't send anything or a simple card WITHOUT stating that you want her back.
do some soul searching. u sound like a great guy at heart. u need to figure out what happened within urself or EVERY relationship you'll have in the future will end like this one and you'll be miserable and trying to get ur former partner back. it's no way to live!! try a divorce group! my brother reluctantly went, and by the 2 or 3rd meeting, he was happier than i'd seen him in YEARS! there are many that are free or price of the literature! great luck to you!
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