New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

What should I do to make her happy and help her get back on track?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2010)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i have been with my girlfriend for almost two years and things seem a little too confusing for me at this moment. when we met she was living with her ex-boyfriend and she claimed it was only because they had bought a house together and her name was on it but swore that they aren't together anymore although they were living together. 5 months after, she moved out and we were spending more time together and were even happier than we were. about a month after, unfortunately, she found out her mother was passed away for like a week in the month of march. i did what any other boyfriend would have done. i grieved with her, helped her clean her mom's place, and gave her supportive advices as i needed to. then she turns around and moves back with her ex-boyfriend after being con'ed into it by her sister and brother for they thought it was best for her which wasn't all because he has always bein abusing her mentally and physically for all the time they lived together.

i tried to tell her that she was doing the wrong thing going back to him and just as i suspected (and told her), he only saw that as an opportunity to try and get in her life again so he can mess her up mentally perhaps physically too so that she wont bee able to leave again. he hit her on new years at 3 a.m. after they went to the bar and he also fought with one of her friends as he was trying to stop her ex from hurtin her, to the point that she called the police (she had swore to him she wouldn't even though it would be the case) on him. she didn't do a follow up with the case and he was released on conditions not to drink especially that he's also an alcoholic on top of that. a year an a half after she had moved back, then she realized how wrong she was thinking he would change even a bit; and just like i told her he was only getting worse. all this time we were together still but her ex-boyfriend not knowing we were from the day i met her. I have been getting weird feeling that she's not over him at all and that the relationship between me and her was just about sex even though she always told me she really wanted to be with me instead and that she's sure about us and getting married as soon as we can. opportunities came by but then nothing happened. now that she's moved on her own again, things don't seem better or nearly as good as they were when she first moved out. instead everytime i ask her something she gets all mad (i assume) because she thinks i ask question so we can argue or that i'm mad at her just like it was with her ex-boyfriend. from time to time, it seems as though she wants me to break up with her. i think this because she purposefully makes me angry and once i am she starts going on and on saying i hate her, i don't love her anymore, and asks me if i want to break, but the truth is she means everything to me!

I love this girl with all my heart but i dont see/feel that when she makes me angry on purpose. i ask her why she would've told me that she wants/ed to be with me if all she does is do her best to push me away, but she doesnt say a word. then after she all nice to me again and acting as though nothing ever happened. if i try to ask her while shes calm (or simply talking about things that aren't going well in our relationship), all of a sudden she gets all mad, gives me attitude and tells me she doesn't want to talk about that "s%*t". but when she wants to, i had to talk back or she starts it all over again. this really hurt my feelings and makes me feel misunderstood as i have been all my life. i know she can do better than she is now, but i don't get why she wont just do it all the time. and whenever she talk to her ex-boyfriend on the phone and things dont go well, then she gets all moody and takes it on me while i haven't done nothing. this totally sets me off.

When i confront her about it she just makes me mad and starts acting stupid with me again just to make me as hurt as she feels (as i see it). What should I do to make her happy and help her get back on track, if there's anything in my power that i can do? or am i just wasting my time trying to? if so, what should i do? i desparately need help

View related questions: alcoholic, her ex, moved out

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010):

thats what i thought i should do. but it's so hard for me coz i really love her so much. even worse, i fear i want/need her more that she does :(

i'm what they might call a hopeless romantic and i've been waiting literally all my life for the one til i met my girlfriend. on our happy moments, i can see it in her eyes that she's the one despite the horrible things i go through when thing are the other way round. what am i suppose to do?

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Black diamond20 United States +, writes (13 August 2010):

See some stuff i just dont get we women always ask for a good man but when we find one we have walls up shes not over him she just needed someone(you) to talk to and to get away from him shes not a little girl she know what shes doing stop contacting her and dont answer every call she will realize what she misses.ps good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "What should I do to make her happy and help her get back on track?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312710999999979!