A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Now, I won't lie to you, this is a very peculiar relationship predicament I find myself in. And it's as painful as it is unusual. I first saw this man several years ago, when I was very young indeed. And he was, well, not very young. I watched him from afar until, when I was 16, I found an excuse to spend time with him. There was an obvious chemistry between us, though for many reasons we could not be together. When I was 18 he made a move and we spent a summer together, happy. I was of course in shock, as I thought it could never happen. However we both knew what was coming. Ten years ago he and his brother had made a plan to sail around the world. And that September was to be the one on which they departed. I myself would start university in October. We decided we would try and make it work, but I was getting settled into University life and our relationship fell by the wayside. And, I'm not proud to admit it, I cheated on him. I told him shortly after, and he forgave me. He flew me out to see him that Christmas, at the end of my first term and we fell in love all over again. But then when I had to leave I found it more and more difficult to stay in contact, though I was never again unfaithful. Towards the end of the term we broke up, but he then flew back to see me and we were effectively together again, just not nominally. He has left again now, and he is without internet and it costs him $4 per minute to even receive calls. I shall not see him for over a year from now and we are both still very much in love with one another. I am desperate to make it work, I know I will be able to if I can keep it in mind. He says that if I don't drift away from him for these next four weeks (he is out of range of all wifi this month, but afterwards he should be easier to contact) then we will be "back on". But I'm afraid I won't be able to. Does anyone have any suggestions of things I should do to keep him in my mind? For I really do desperately want to be with him as we are so perfect and happy when we are together.Thanks.
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broke up, christmas, fell in love, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous male reader: he is 12 years older than me and there are certain reasons which I shouldn't go into which mean we cannot be open about our relationship.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (25 April 2010):
 If your love is true and strong, you will find a way. I know it must be hard, with no contact for weeks. Perhaps ask him to send you postcards, maybe 3 times a week, to keep him in mind. If he is at the same address for a while also, perhaps you could send him postcards. Or write to him a couple of timea a week and post your letters to him when you have an address for him.
To keep him in mind, put his picture up in your room. But also try to get on with your own life, without romance of course. Tell yourself you are single but unavailable. That way you won't yern after him so much. Then when he returns to you again, if it is meant to be, you can pick up where you left off.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): Honestly if he was so in love with you he would have asked you to marry him after all this time. He is leaving too much to chance and a man in love won't do this.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 April 2010):
Do a search on this site for army wife.
You're really no different from any long distance relationship.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionP.S. He's in Cuba at the moment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey - I can't go because I'm studying at university at the moment and we have both wished I could go, but I had already accepted my place and, for financial reasons, could not defer it. And I do trust him not to have cheated on me, he is not the sort of man to do such a thing! Thought I should just add this as extra information!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): 4 dollars a minute? Where is he, Tibet?
Why didn't he offer to take you with him on this world tour? Its unreasonable of him to think you would wait for him for a year or more. Its one thing if he's in the military, or in jail. But he is joyriding around having the time of his life in all these different places in the world. Without you. You think because you were unfaithful it obligates you to stay true to this man. But... what if he has been unfaithful to you, and just didn't have the courtesy to tell you? I know you know him better than any of us, but this sounds bad.
Like he's keeping you on reserve, using your guilt against you, and going out carousing around the world.
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