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female
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anonymous
writes: Well i have been at this company for a few years.. i always thought this one guy was good looking and had a good personality as well.. he is pretty popular in the office as well..does get attention and i am very quiet.i socialize here and there but mostly just shy. I have been kind of down lately at work, not looking good more than usual..different problems going on..he actually approached me casually last week and asked are u ok? and i said yea and he was like are you sure, you promise? and i didn't really say anything to thatWe went out last week with coworkers. Towards the end of the evening he approached me and said something and then said do i want to do a shot and i said sure..so we wind up at the bar by ourselves..it looked like most of the coworkers left..it seems like he was attracted to me..he placed his hand on my back once, leaned in closer when i couldnt hear what he was saying where he was pretty close to my mouth...We got to talking and we eventually went back to hang out a his place.When we left, we saw two coworkers and we thought everyone left. So he walked away first and i said goodnight. It might have looked a little suspicious to them regardless. i didn't think it was going to happen but he got a cab and opened the door for me and we both got in and headed to his place. I just felt comfortable with him i guess..we did wind up making out at his place..the kisses seemed more sensual and soft..but before anything happened we were laying down together and he said my name and like what am i doing here in a casual/nice way..and i said do you want me to go and he said no if i didn't want you here i wouldn't have invited you. And i said i just wanted to spend time with you. I don't know who kissed who first but i really enjoyed it..I also was not very drunk or anything..i might have been buzzed but i knew ultimately what i was still doing. Things got somewhat physical but nothing where i need to have a test done or anything..my clothes stayed on;his didn't for the most part.. i remained strong with my will power not to sleep with him even though i wanted to.I feel like i was too emotional though and maybe i shouldn't have been like that?....maybe i should have had more fun with the situation and joked more...i felt like i blew it with me saying i just wanted to spend time with u, when we kissed i put my emotions in it..i touched his face while we kissed, kissed his neck. Is that too much or just a kissing style?.... When we were laying on the bed and i sat up to look at him he was being sweet..he kept playing with my hair and pushing it out of my face and tucked it behind my ear..he did say that he was concerned about me the past few days and i said well ur the only one..noone else notices and he said maybe they aren't looking...i also said to him well i guess you are attracted to me. I also moined that tiny slightly bit like that feels good when we kissed..he joked later saying good for me with my willpower lol..i was also pretty guarded not letting him do certain things like take my top off etc..and was nervous as well i guess which he pointed out but not in a mean way. He just said you are nervousWe spoke about how the next day was going to be and he said it is going to be weird and he almost feels bad but he gets the sense i wanted to come here tonight too and it wasn't just him and i agreed..and he said but i will come in, in the morning and say what i always say to you and you will say the same. When laying down he did kissed my forehead once, he did tell me i am very pretty.I think i hinted at wanting to hang out again or talk etc but i don't think he was completely open like ok here is my number lets hang out again soon which kind of disappointed me and maybe it made me look like an idiot as well.The next day we came in like normal..he said the things he usually said to me..later on he asked if we were cool and i said yea..when i left i said goodnight to him and the person he shares the room with but as walking by we locked eyes for that second.Was i too emotional with the things i said and did? i kind of wish i can hang out with him again but it doesn't look like that is going to happen..i just wanted to spend more time with him regardless of where it led...Now i think i have a bigger crush on him. That night would have been perfect for us to exchange numbers but it didn't happen and i guess this was just a one time thing.He even said i am too good; he feels bad and even complimented my willpower lol..maybe that actually can be seen as a negative thing..too "good"?The day after that he was in his neighbors office which is by my desk in the morning and he said my name and i said hey..it was a busy day for him it looked like..and i waved and smiled like normal when i left at the end of the day...Anyway, what should i do to grab his attention? continue to look better at work? try to be more outgoing? I was even thinking of trying to be a little more outgoing with one of his friends in the office...they hang out even on weekends at times..him and i are on decent terms but if i try to get a little closer maybe i can be invited out and be around my crush more?....
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female
reader, Danni19  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 oooooh lordie... ok where to start... first of all NO LOOKING BAD AT WORK! a man has noticed you looking slightly haggard? not good! you should be going to work looking professional and hot! but still be in the work place standards. also, men dont like women who throw themselves at them. they like strong independant women who know what they want in life. make him come after you! also, if this guy really liked you he wouldnt care about what co workers think, he should be proud that he gets to be with you!! i would really suggest you read the book "he's just not that into you" its the relationship bible, it helps you find little hints about a man intentions. although i give you a big thumbs up on not giving it up the first night :D
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