A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a mess, and it's confusing.I met a guy a few years ago, we'll call him GUY A, when I was 15. He thought I was 18, nothing had happened or anything but it was clear that we fancied each other a bit. But after he found out that I was younger, we talked a bit on facebook and we really got on and actually became mates in the end, minor flirting but nothing really relevant. I really liked him (romantically) for a little while but I moved past it fairly quickly. He lives far-ish away so I don't see him very often but when I do it's always nice, and we chat and catch up etc but we mainly talk through facebook.We had a nice friendship, not too heavy but still personal. Then the other day he came online and I could tell he was a bit different, and he started majorly flirting with me, and being very forward about it. He was a bit drunk but not decision altering-ly so. I flirted back a bit but at the time was aware that he could have been drunk and didn't want to be the sober idiot playing along. Now ever since then he's been speaking to me a lot more than he used to and he's been flirty every time (not as much as that night but still flirty) and I feel like out friendship has been ruined because he sees me in that way now, and not in a mate-y way.And the worst part is I'm starting to like him romantically again which I really don't want to do but because he's showing me a lot of attention I can't really help it, he's very charming and very attractive and lovely, and funny and intelligent- A real catch.But I can't help thinking this is just a bit of fun to him :/ And plus I'm much more sexually attracted to him than I am emotionally attracted to his personality.Then if that isn't confusing me enough, I like another guy (GUY B) who I am good friends with, and we talk often but never flirt at all. He's really safe and we just talk about our interests and our daily events and debate about stuff. And I really like him, but it's not sexual at all, well of course I find him sexually attractive but we don't talk sexually at all not even mildly. So I like them both a lot, but I like GUY B more and in a much safer way, not in a lusty way. So I feel like I'm being unfaithful to my emotions to GUY B if anything happens between me and GUY A.Should I ask GUY A why he's suddenly started acting this way?Should I feel bad on GUY B for flirting with GUY A even though we don't have any sort of commitment to each other I feel like there is something there that I would be cheating on, or that he would disapprove of me having fun with this guy. Should I let anything happen with GUY A when it might ruin our already partly damaged friendship?I'm really quite confused, and it probably shows in my incoherence. So please try and help me if you can make sense of my blather.
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female
reader, mimisoph3  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 the question is do u see urself dating any of them heres wat i thinki think that guya wasnt as drunk as u think he is..i think he likes u and that night he pretended to be a bit drunk just so he can check if he can flirt with u and if u see him in more then a friends level and u flirting back gives him the idea(heyy she might like me) an thats why his flirting wit u not as much because he doesnt want to push iti also think that guyb isnt into u and that is why u like him more because his a challenge because every girl likes a guy thats hard to get he doesnt flirt to u i think he sees u into a really good friend and that is why he talks to u daily about things he cant talk to other girls about other girls he likesso wat i'm saying is u liked guya before because he rarely flirted and u felt joyful now that its clear his flirting wit u and its clear theres something there u dont like him anymore because u'r either scared of commitement or scared to see wat will happen getting ur heart broken or u have high expectations and are looking for betterand guyb well his ur friend i dont think he'll see u in anything less or more ur the only person that he can talk about everything wit and thats not how an actually love romance goes but good luck !!
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