A
female
age
51-59,
*ugar1973us
writes:Hi, I had a question about sex happening too soon. I've been friends with this guy for a few months. On my first date with this guy he took me back to his place. I've been resistant with other guys for years about sex. I wanted to be in a nice relationship before I had sex. It ended up being my first time with him. He was really nice to me about it and we had a nice time that evening. I've spent time with him again the next weekend, but I'm wondering if I should hold off on sex or take a break from seeing him. I thought it was too sudden to happen. I've always imagined that I would date a guy for a long time before deciding to have sex. Will holding off be a true test of his intentions or should I just be up front and discuss it next time I see him? He is very kind to me (so far!) I really like being with him, but I also want a guy who is going to stick around for a relationship!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): wow! I am glad you stuck it out to find out what he was really about. I would say I am sorry that it didn't work out but I guess you learned one thing... trust your self... and your instincts....
A
female
reader, sugar1973us +, writes (20 August 2009):
sugar1973us is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. An update on my situation. He broke up with me a month ago...via text! After contacting each other loveydovey everyday, and then the next day he drops off the face of the earth and decides to stop calling me--his actions did speak a lot about his intentions. He wouldn't have contacted me if I didn't try calling to say, "Are you okay? I haven't heard from you?" His response via text, "I'm going thru some things right now. I've been keeping to myself. I need to take a break for a few weeks to clear my head and refocus. Don't take this personal." It turned out to be a "friends with benefits" situation. The part oldersister said about, "does he make time to do other things, hang out...etc." is so true. He really didn't! It was always about hangin at his place for sex. I DO deserve better! I will find that person someday. In the meantime, I'm going out dancing and having fun! I'm moving on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): Dear too soon,
in the last line of your letter you write
"He is very kind to me (so far) I really like being with him, but I also want a guy who is going to stick around for a relationship.
He is not the one leaving sweetie, you are. He is there having a good time and you are already condeming him for not sticking around.
You like him, he obviously likes you... so what if you had sex soon. This isn't high school.. this is adult hood. Or FRIENDS for us 30 goers... lol. you imagined you would date the man for a long time... etc... and maybe could have wasted your time.
instead you dated for a short time and found someone right off the bat.
My point is sweetie.. don't stir the pot when there is nothing cooking.... just sit down and enjoy your meal.
you have no idea how many starving people there are out there.
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