A
male
age
30-35,
*hostChild
writes:So I signed up for eHarmony recently. It's been a long time since I've really dated anyone, and I've had absolutely zero luck finding anyone in the real world. Most of my "matches" are either girls way too far away or a bit too old for me (into their 40s and such). I've had luck with one girl though. We've been swapping long emails about ourselves and mutual interests for the last two weeks with a rate of probably two emails each per day. She seems really sweet and I dare say she's interested in me given the amount we've emailed each other.Only thing is, I suck with the whole online dating thing. What's the next step? I'm afraid if we just keep emailing then the momentum will slow down and she'll lose interest. What's the protocol on asking for phone numbers? Is two weeks a short enough time of communicating to ask her on a date?I feel like these are definitely really stupid questions, but I kind of don't want to/need to not blow this. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, GhostChild +, writes (10 May 2014):
GhostChild is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just an update, thanks for all the good advice everyone. We ended up switching numbers and just had a first date yesterday which went great, thanks all!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2014): The others are right you just ask just remember it's not the end of the world if she refuses and it's certainly not the end of you getting to know her either.
Seeing as it's the internet, I'd make it a day time coffee somewhere public so she'd feel safer.
It's not pushy, OP, it's good timing and it's just coffee. You have to pace this well in terms of proper interest too, OP. She may well be waiting for you to ask her out properly. Pushy then is not taking no for answer so if she refuses or feels it's too soon accept that and just be a little more patient before you try again.
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A
male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (21 April 2014):
Hi,
I think you are ok to exchange numbers to talk. Don't fear asking, if she says no, then there are lots of others on the site. There are, I'm not just saying. In your next email, say, 'i'm enjoying our messages, how about if we have a brief telephone chat sometime?'
That's not pushy and I'm sure she will agree.
One advice though, don't panic and think that everything rests on her agreeing. If you talk and things are not right for you, then there are other girls more suitable.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 April 2014):
 2 emails a day for 2 weeks....
yep I'd say it's time to call... I would offer your number to her while asking for hers... she may feel more comfortable calling you or giving you her number if she has yours....
then USE it... time to put up or shut up... get the number and ask her for a an afternoon coffee date for a weekend....
casual... meet her somewhere... then you can sit and talk and see if the chemistry is there in person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2014): I think two weeks is about the right time to ask her if she's interested in talking on the phone or meeting up.
I wouldn't think it was pushy.
She might ask for a bit more time but anything longer than 4 - 6 weeks of emailing and nothing else, I would start to wonder of they were genuine or not. Some people are more interested in carrying out online fantasy relationships (which is no good for people who are looking for a real relationship.)
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (21 April 2014):
 OP, your question isn't stupid at all.
After two weeks, with the level of correspondance you've had, I would say it's definitely time to exchange numbers and arrange a date. It won't come across as pushy.
If you leave it too much longer, it may run the risk of turning in to one of these "fantasy" type online relationships (where one or both is reluctant to take it to "real life"- yes, it happens).
Good luck, I hope it all works out!
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