A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend always drops hints that he wants to try anal sex. I've never done this before and am kind of nervous. I don't want him to ask I kind of want to try it on his birthday coming up. I just don't know about the foreplay of it all. I mean normal sex self lubricates, do we have to use more lube or start out small (like fingers) before his penis goes in? I have no idea. Any advice would be great.
View related questions:
anal sex, foreplay Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): Use lots of lube!
My boyfriend wanted to try it and i agreed but the first time it really did hurt and now my boyfriend is addicted to it and i can't really find it in my heart to disapoint him and tell him to stop.
just be aware that it may hurt alot and its not the nicest feeling ever.
Good luck though :)
A
male
reader, Shane O'Brian +, writes (15 April 2009):
As far as foreplay, I suggest having a lot of vaginal sex without having an orgasm yet and getting really, really aroused. The more aroused you get, the more relaxed your anus gets, and the easier his penis will slide inside.The first time my girlfriend and I did that we were making love most of the night, and by morning my penis slid all the way inside her anus with no resistance or pain at all. It was great.There are a few great articles about this very thing here...http://anal-sex-secrets.comHope this helps.
...............................
A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Hi there,
I found this online eBook you can read. It will give you a lot of pointers, and is filled with facts, techniques and diagrams to help you better understand the anatomy and all the ins-and-outs. (Make sure you have the Adobe Reader installed.)
Adult Guide To Anal Sex:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/2252775/Adult-Guide-to-Anal-Sex
I would also add that eating a proper diet consisting of high fibre is important for good bowel evacuation prior to sex. Make sure to eat your favourite high-fibre cereal the day before you plan to try it out.
As ArmyMedic said, lots of lube is a must. A few more pointers; remember to breathe, go slow, and gently bear down (push out from the anus muscle) as anything is inserted. This will cause the anal ring to loosen and make the whole process much easier. Keep communication going throughout the process; don’t feel you have to keep any discomfort or unease to yourself. This isn’t a race, and if he really cares for you he should be more than willing to slow down and keep it at a pace you can both enjoy.
While you are at it, don’t be afraid to ask if you can try anything with HIS back-door some time. I mean, heck, why not?
Fun side-story! I know one girl whose boyfriend used to always bug her to kiss one of her friends in front of him (and possibly go even further), so one day she told him, “Sure, I’ll give it a shot, but you have to agree to do something with a guy in front of me.” He agreed almost too quickly, probably thinking he could back out of the arrangement after his private peep-show. Of course, that’s when one of our mutual gay friends came out of the kitchen and puckered up. Haha.
Sex should be fun and enjoyable to both partners. Go only as far as you feel comfortable and remember; you always have a right to say no or to change your mind.
Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks cgrlygo that was EXTREMELY helpful!!!! Thanks so much.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): ok, first make sure its what you want to do. This is all your choice. With that out of the way let me say that anal is all about relaxation and lube. Before doing anything I recomend Astroglide which you can buy at Walmart for like 14.00. I recommend that you first experiment this act by yourself so you can get used to the touch and feel of the situation. Become relaxed with the act itself. Before you do any acts involving anal I highly recommend trying to use the bathroom first. It may relieve any pressure you might feel during. Since the anal is a muscle it has to be relaxed so before you were to have sex with him like that it helps to have him massage the anal area with his fingers and an excess amount of lube so you feel relaxed and comfortable. this does mean penetration with his fingers (in case you were wondering). You could also consider toys. they help as well..having a vibrator to help stimulate your clit will help keep your mind on the sensations instead of AHHHH im having anal sex. (again relaxation is the key)Before he enters you he has to be slow and you have to be very relaxed nothing will feel good if its dry and pushed. that just ends up in injury and pain. So with him and you properly stimulating your anas he can begin to enter you and as he does you have to relax your muscles and it will be a little uncomfortable at first but if he moves slow and is gentle all should go well.. most important don't expect him to know it all.. you have to be very vocal on this and honest.. if it hurts tell him!good luck I would also watch some videos on line dealing specificly with this you could gain some really good ideas to help you out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): ok, first make sure its what you want to do. This is all your choice. With that out of the way let me say that anal is all about relaxation and lube. Before doing anything I recomend Astroglide which you can buy at Walmart for like 14.00.
I recommend that you first experiment this act by yourself so you can get used to the touch and feel of the situation. Become relaxed with the act itself.
Before you do any acts involving anal I highly recommend trying to use the bathroom first. It may relieve any pressure you might feel during.
Since the anal is a muscle it has to be relaxed so before you were to have sex with him like that it helps to have him massage the anal area with his fingers and an excess amount of lube so you feel relaxed and comfortable.
this does mean penetration with his fingers (in case you were wondering). You could also consider toys. they help as well..having a vibrator to help stimulate your clit will help keep your mind on the sensations instead of AHHHH im having anal sex. (again relaxation is the key)
Before he enters you he has to be slow and you have to be very relaxed nothing will feel good if its dry and pushed. that just ends up in injury and pain. So with him and you properly stimulating your anas he can begin to enter you and as he does you have to relax your muscles and it will be a little uncomfortable at first but if he moves slow and is gentle all should go well..
most important don't expect him to know it all.. you have to be very vocal on this and honest.. if it hurts tell him!
good luck
I would also watch some videos on line dealing specificly with this you could gain some really good ideas to help you out.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I strongly recomend that you try a dildo on yourself in private before you try it with him. Use lots of lube and go slow. Getting it in is the worst part. Once it's in you'll relax some. Most women don't like it the first few times but after that it's actually a turn on.
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Yes LOTS of Lube and fingers!
...............................
|
