A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who's in a bit of a situation with his girlfriend/female friend that wants to date him. I put a slash term there, as neither of them really know if they're dating or not - too many emotional episodes, it would seem.Anyways, uh, at times, the girl will be VERY sweet with him. (Gives him the royal treatment.). Then, a little bit of time down the road, BAM! Gives him the polar opposite.My friend and I speculate that it's either:Mind games.Or,PMS. We have no idea if either of these causes for this behavior make sense. However, my friend needs help on how to cope with this. Or, should he move on, and actually look for a date that actually respects him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not really about me. It's about my friend. And, no, he's not leading her on. He's showing interest when the girl shows interest, stuff like that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Both have to start acting like two adults and tell each other the truth about how they feel about each other. Lay it all on the line. Take a risk. If one or both don't want the same thing or feel the same way, at least they will know and can move on from the mind games. Mind games result from second guessing each other and never communicating or having enough respect for each other to tell each other the truth. You start to make assumptions about how the other is feeling and misunderstandings are the result which could explain the hot/cold behaviour.
Guess what? Just ask her why she is behaving this way. You will then know where she stands. Ask her if she is interested in having a relationship with you if you like her that way. Then you will have your answer and move forward or move away and find someone else.
I think that maybe she likes you but is afraid you don't like her and pulls away. Do you have another girlfriend? Maybe she wants to get close but you may be giving her signals you are into her and then you're not so she is just protecting her own heart.
A guy needs to be consistent in how he treats a woman. If he likes her, he has to do something about it, not just show it. And if he shows it, he needs to always reassure her. If he is hot one day and cold another, she is going to pull away. Nobody wants to get hurt.
So, really look at your behaviour towards her. Are you open and clear with your feelings? If not, she might need reassurance.
She might be mad at you because you are not sure of your own feelings and are confusing her with your own behaviour.
No girl likes to go on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, not knowing where the ride is going to stop. Better to get off while you're still in one piece.
Bottom line.
Talk to her. Lay it on the line. You will have your answer. It is that simple.
It isn't that she doesn't respect you. You need to both respect each other to be honest with each other. Because right now you are both going in circles, without resolving anything.
She might be afraid of being hurt because she might be afraid you are leading her on. Are you?
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