A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean in a bowling league environment where everyone else is doing high fives (strikes or difficult spares picked up), or fist bumps (spares not made), that most of the times my partner (who started out as a sub and I don't know real well) instead does this?They hold their hand out flat and horizontal with palm down. When I respond with my hand out flat and palm down, instead of a high five, they slide their fingertips across my palm and fingertips in a single stroking movement. And that's whether it's a high five situation or a fist bump situation.I haven't really paid much attention before now as there's only been like 4 or 5 games to this point, but it's hit me how consistent it is and has me now wondering if that (whatever it's called - it seems to be like something modified from part of a Dap greeting) action is a flirting maneuver (we are opposite sexes). Especially with the fact that they DO high five and fist bump the other members of the team (and persons on team being played occasionally) when appropriate - and never does the "palm stroke" with them!
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male
reader, LRS1969 +, writes (23 April 2015):
Sorry about this, but the initial question (done in somewhat of a haze) was misworded - and I have had a LOT of difficulty in the Login process (had to register twice even)...Anyway, here is a better wording of the situation:I felt that this would be a proper place to post as what is going on is a form of a date... just not a "date" involving the spouse! This situation is a mixed league (MF /MF) bowling league that bowls on a weekend night. It involves just one partner (spouse - who was previously paired up not with current bowling partner, but a relative - who has since been replaced by a "sub" who is a close friend of the other male on their team). I am not only not involved (not asked), but am actively discouraged from going at all.Particulars:It is a bowling league environment where everyone else is doing high fives (strikes or difficult spares picked up), or fist bumps (spares not made), that most of the times he, my spouse's partner, (who started out as a sub and I don't know at all - nor did she, until now anyway; he's a close friend of the other male on this MF / MF team) and my spouse instead do this with JUST each other...One will hold their hand out flat and horizontal with palm up. When the other responds with their hand out flat and palm down, instead of a high five, they slide their fingertips across the other's palm and fingertips in a single soft stroking movement. It is a modification of the "gimme skin" maneuver that (like high fives, slapping five, fist bumps, etc.,) came from the "dap greeting".And that's whether it's a high five situation or a fist bump situation. (The gimme skin move - especially as modified - does, I understand, have supposedly flirtatious connotations when done between opposite sexes)This is what is done by them instead of high fives / fist bumps well over 90% of the time.And either can / does initiate it. No high fives or fist bumps hardly ever... just this.I haven't really paid much attention before now as there's only been like 4-5 games to this point (where I have casually stopped by... and yes, done in front of me as it appears to have become so natural), but it's hit me how consistent it is and has me now wondering if that action is a flirting maneuver (especially as it is only done softly and not "macho" or with exuberance).And especially with the fact that they DO perform high fives and fist bumps with the other members of the team (and with persons on the team that is being played occasionally) as when appropriate - and never does the "palm stroke" with them!BTW, I only see any of the other bowlers doing high fives or fist bumps (or occasional double high fives or hugs between obvious "partner couples"). I haven't seen any others do this "palm / fingertips slide".Simply having fun? Meaningless good time?Or some degree of flirting (even if at simply some subconscious level)???I'm looking to become aware of any potential relationship conflict as early as possible... and squash in the bud if possible (BTW, my wife has a history of being very naive and if this started at initiation of him, I could see her readily going along with it without grasping an ulterior meaning - or noticing that he wasn't doing this with anyone else, nor were other bowlers doing this... ).
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 April 2015):
 If you submit any follows up here you can clarify the issues that are a real concern to you.
Issues that were not fully explained the first time.
Now that you have posted the first follow up with the revised detail people will respond accordingly.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2015): This question was completely misworded.
It is NOT happening to me, but is ongoing between my SO and her bowling partner,
Hence the confusion is answers.
I will have to resubmit it better worded.
I concerned about a potential relationship problem in an early stage.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 April 2015):
 for me flirting is having fun. they are not separate things.
are you thinking the person is interested in more than a casual bowing relationship or are you interested in her that way?
when folks ask if someone is flirting I often think that they are interested in the flirter but are not sure if they should ask them out.
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