A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI've got to known this girl for 1 year and she has daughter that's 5 years old, what's it like being stepdad? My parents say just be dad from start that way you see him grow in stages as you have a full dad title Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 October 2017):
 I think the best thing for you to do is to talk to her and ask her what she wants you to be to her child. Does the child have her dad in her life? Does she know you and mummy are a couple? These are all things that need to be done properly and only you and the child's mother can talk and see what you both want. As for being a step dad its a challenging but rewarding job.
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (24 October 2017):
Is bio dad in the picture? I had a serious, long-term girlfriend with a daughter who was entering puberty. She was really mean to her mom (the usual phase, I believe) and it was very difficult for me to watch what was going on. But bio dad was still very much in the picture, so I didn't want to step on his toes and get involved in any disciplining. Anyway, beware of situations that might arise with bio dad. I've had many friends who have been stepdads and found it very rewarding. It seems as though their title quickly loses the "step" word and they just become "dad." Good luck with this!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 October 2017):
 If I were you I'd go find some "how to be a stepdad" kind of books, so you have an idea of how to make the best of it, for HER and you.
Talk to your partner about rules and boundaries so you are both on the same page.
Do try "too hard" in the beginning to be the "fun dad" or whatever you think she might expect. LET her set the pace in getting to know you.
Doing things all 3 of you where you CAN include her is a good start, IMHO.
Don't have a conversation about her bio-dad in front of her or with her. If she brings up her dad, just listen. No need to "defend" yourself here.
You can go google - Stepdad advice and see what you can find. But mostly? TALK to your partner. ASK her about HER expectations and what SHE needs/want from you.
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