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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi---my b/f and i went out but he wanted to suprise me about where we were going--nothing a big deal but he knows it would annoy me a little to not know exactly where we were going. All i knew is it was a bar--he picks me up and is on the phone with his friend--my b/f asked him to come along and then he said no don't bother dressing up or anything and he said i wanted to suprise her so i can't say. We go to get some food and we order the take out and he says i'm gonna call him and tell him where we are going. He goes outside and of course i would like to know so i try to go outside but he holds the door--so i just go and sit down. Anyway--later on we pick up the friend--and somehow it came up and i was trying i guess to see if he knew where we were going and i said and where are we going to the friend--and the friend says i dunno--i'm just as suprised as you, all i know is its a bar--and that to me is weird b/c he said he went outside to call him and tell him and it really looked like he was serious--that he didnt know. Getting closer to the bar--the friend says so you can be included in some of what he likes and his hobbies and then the friend said should we tell her why you chose this place(b/c we are going away to a place that have bars like this--dont wanna be soo specific)Should i try to check my b/f's phone to see if he really called his friend at that time to tell him--isn't that kind of risky to do--go outside to call a girl for a a few minutes. Am i being paranoid to think maybe the friend covered for my b/f and realized something. Don't know if i should just believe my b/f did call him and said it was this type of bar.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006): It sounds like the bf just doesn't know how to surprise the woman he likes. It comes across as he's just a bumling fool. Poor guy.
Don't read into this situation.
If your fears start to get the better of you; then just ask. Then trust.
If you can't trust him then it won't matter what he does.
Is this something you have done before; looked for a reason to mistrust a boyfriend?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006): I wouldn't assume that your bf went outside to call a girl. You have no reason to think that.
It does sound rather convoluted, however. Perhaps you could think about asking your b/f why he wanted to surprise you, and what he thought was so special about the bar......don't really know what to recommend.....
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