A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for almost four years now. We are the same age and graduated high school together. In October he joined the Air Force and went to basic training and now he is in tech school. I went to college and he wrote me about three letters from basic and they were really sweet and he asked me if I had moved on and he said he missed me and things like that. When he graduated basic he got his cell phone back and called me nightly, just like he had in the past. He is normally a very good boyfriend with calling. He spoiled me early on by calling me nightly and talking to me for hours, but here lately within the last three weeks he seems annoyed to talk to me, and we don't talk but about thirty minutes if he even decides to call. I stopped calling him because 99 times out of 100 he doesn't answer. I know he is busy and all with the Air Force but I don't like this one bit, and he knows it makes me mad too but he keeps doing it. A few days ago he got really mad at me and told me I didn't trust him because I asked if he had talked to any girls. He tells me his day step by step and says that since he does that I should know he doesn't talk to any girls. I don't like other girls and there was a situation in the past that was not good at all that made me lose some trust, but overall I trust him. I just feel like since he knows the phone is our only form of communication and thats what is holding our relationship together that he would at least call if not only for several minutes or to at least tell me goodnight like he used to until about three weeks ago. I'm his longest relationship and we are each others first loves, so we care about each other quite a bit. Another thing that upset me was when he came home for Christmas he didn't even come see me everyday (I thought he would want to spend time with me since he hadn't seen me in like 4 months, but I ended up not even seeing him half the time he was here.) He was supposed to come to my house new years and give me my midnight kiss but he decided to go to a party instead and he tried to get me to go over there but I had people at my house and I wasn't about to leave them. He came to my house at like 12:30 and stayed about 10 minutes and that was the last time I saw him then he flew away again the next day. Sometimes he gets into these careless attitudes where he says he goes with the flow and acts like he doesn't care about anything (which he is in one now) but I've told him time and time again that if he cares about me he needs to act like it and try to at least make an effort to talk to me. What is going on with him???
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female
reader, happyduck +, writes (3 August 2013):
I know this was years ago but I just want anyone searching this up to know that honestly in tech you're really busy and most of the time studying in the dorm (which no person of the opposite sex can even come in). It's a lot to handle and usually people mature a lot and change. I really hope your relationship last because it CAN work in the Air Force but you just need to learn to be independent sometimes. Best of luck to anyone in a relationship with someone in the military! It takes a lot and I applaud you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): My boyfriend is also in the air force.. currently in tech school.. and I find crazy that your story sounds EXACTLY what I'm going thru.. so from someone who is experiencing what you are going thru I would say just give him his space.. my boyfriend did quite often tell me how important this moment is to the rest of his life.. I agree with the other post.. just give him his time and space.. and as hard as it is to not call him.. still resist!! Im sure things will get much better over time.. and he'll respect for being that girl that stuck by him! =]
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A
male
reader, Kawika +, writes (27 February 2008):
 I think maybe he has a lot of things on his mind. It is possible that he is going through the most trying time in his life. I think the best approach is to lay low for a while. Don't call him...let him call you. Don't question him about not calling or any other negative things that may spark an argument. He needs someone who is supportive and understands. Men will often stray away from calling or talking to someone if they know they will be interrogated, so don't do it. When he does call just listen and encourage him. He will definitely appreciate that and possibly call you more. I understand you are hurting, but don't force the issue. He will love you for it. I hope this helps.
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