A
female
age
36-40,
*menthyst3356
writes:Dear Cupid, I first found this site when my bf who I trust started having a large increase of female friends. This really bothered me becuase he would text them all of the time. They would talk about sex and their relationships to him. Now after a year together and me in counseling now trying to get through my trust issues which stemmed from my father's cheating. My bf still has those female friends which he only sees at school or work, still texts them a lot. I have met the school ones because I took the initiative to suprise him at school with lunch. His manager is now cold to him because he didn't get the hint she was hitting on him, (buying gifts, dinner). I still am struggling with the whole opposite sex friend thing, but I don't want to tell him he can't speak to friends. I told him that he is a big flirt and I'm getting over it gradually. His female friends appearantly disagree and say he is open with his conversations. I read one of his text messages to a joint female friend of ours he told her that he missed seeing her. I usually only get to see him one day a week between school and work now. We do not attend the same college. What I want to know what is acceptable to text/ talk to opposite sex friends about when in a relationship with another.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): It seems odd that he'd get a sudden large influx of female friends, but as long as he isn't talking about what he wants to do to them sexually and vice versa in texts, I don't think there's much to worry about. You mentioned that his boss tried to hit on him, but he didn't react to it at all; this means he's obviously interested in you and might not realize that other girls hit on him, too, because he doesn't care whether they like him that way or not.
Sometimes more mature young men like having friendships with young women because young women tend to be more mature than other men their age. He might enjoy the opportunity to talk about his feelings and not farts and how much pizza he downed.
Keep it up with your counseling. I don't see how that could be a bad idea. Definitely bring up this issue with your counselor to see if she can help you. I think you're on the right track here. Best of luck.
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