A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well my fiance has a pretty bad past as far as boyfriend's and sex and partying and all that stuff a lot of girls do. She told me that she only had been with 2 guys before me. And that would make me her 3rd.... at the time of us talking like that before I understood and it didn't really bother me. What bothers me now is that recently she admitted that she didn't really remember that she may have had 2 more guys "be inside her for like a second or 2", each seperate occasions, and claims to me that this isn't really counting as having sex... But it's bothering me because what else do I not know? And to me it is, regardless of doing it for how long. It made me want to throw up as I was driving literally. And now I feel like she just isn't as into sex now with me... even though she always tells me I'm the best and the hottest (what girl wouldn't though? in any present guys at that time) How exactly should I feel?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): I want to thank you all for your answers! it has been well informed and useful..thank you..im going to just go on with it and enjoy our lives together...but let me be clear...i am not diving into her past...we just casually were talking about each other..and things came. out...but thanks for your replies..god bless!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): If you want to make this marriage work, then stop prying into her past. You probably won't like anything else you find in there either.
If you want to keep your self-respect, and be able to totally trust your wife, and not second-guess this old stuff for the rest of your life, then maybe it's time to rethink this girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): As far as the "she tells me im the best" etc bit goes if she didnt think u was any good i doubt shed of said u was the best? and god aint we all done things where we wake up the next mornin regrettin? so i think maybe u should let it go. she's only normal and she's with u and u alone now so be happy, u ovb love her cos ur engaged. Good Luckkkkk (: x
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A
female
reader, muncher  +, writes (5 March 2009):
Personally i think that if a person isnt completely comfortable in themselves to be honest about who they are and where they came from, then they will never be honest with themself let alone another person.
I think you have to sit down with your girl and tell her how you feel about her and give her a chance to be completely honest about everything, give her her time to get all lies or secrets out in the open, and promise you will try not to get mad, at the same time, trying not to get mad...
if you can get past that, she will maybe have more faith in herself, and you, and your relationship, a lot closer than you are at the moment.
From there you can decide for yourself what to do next.
But, one thing i always say to myself, if someone is capable of lyign to me, they will again if i let them...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): "How exactly should I feel?" - that is a redundant question. You feel however you feel.What do you want us to tell you? Justification for her actions or justification for your own feelings?If it was me, I wouldn't delve so much into her past. If in time, she feels she wants to share it with me, great, go for it. If she never, I'm not that curious to bother about a past that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with me.Get your emotional priorities straight before you tackle a marriage. If you're poking her with all these questions now, you might as well call off the engagement.
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