A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 33. I have been dating a 27 year old guy for about two months. We have gotten along wonderfully untill yesturday. I was in a funk and I started trying to break up with him. and he instantly started ignoring my phone calls, and blowing me off. When he did talk to me he said that he didnt want it to be over, but he needed to think. then this morning he said that yes he wanted to stay with me he just wanted to slow it down a little and see how it goes. This totally freaked me out. We have been argueing all day. I dont know what he means by that. he cant realy tell me himself. so to spare him the missery I told him it was over, and he said that was not what he wanted, he wanted to just go slower. Now, What does that mean???? Up untill now we have spent every spare second together. We have alot of fun together. I have asked him several times if we are together too much and he said no. Was he lieing the whole time? What should I do? Is he trying to let me down easy? Or is he sincere? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (13 March 2009):
 I think he has some responsibility to ask himself what he means by "slow down" and explain it to you. It sounds like he doesn't really understand his own feelings, though, and you should probably cut him a little slack (keeping in mind that a long-term relationship with someone who can't identify his own feelings may be very difficult for you).
I am guessing that he was scared by the intensity of the atmosphere when you were in your funk and trying to break it off with him, and he would like to back off a little and regroup. I say you should let him.
Give him time to figure out what he's feeling and what he wants. Keep busy in the meantime. Call him in a week and find out if he'd like to meet for something fun, and then let him bring it up if he wants to. Continue in this mode for a week or so. If he hasn't brought it up by then, you bring it up and ask him where he is with things. At that point if he's still stuttering "Slow down slow down" with no better explanation, I'd break it off with him.
|
