A
female
age
41-50,
*immie111
writes:ok, now im more confused then ever!!! One minute he can't wait to see me and wants to spend all his time with me...(ya like 5 times a weeks) he gives me roses and a card telling me how much i have made him soooo happy and putting a smile on his face etc. Then we go away for the weekend and he tells me he loves me and asked, "when can we spend our next weekend together, like this one again?" then he asked, "if things didn't work between us could we still be friends?" i said why would you ask such a thing after everything you just said? i also said, "are you already looking for this to fail?" I really didn't get it and said, "to relax, everything would be fine", he said, "he's afraid of things changing". i asured him not to worry, and everthing was cool after that. This man has turned my world upside down and the only man i have let my walls down for, then boom!!! out of the blue when we get home we got in a little dissagreement, nothing crazy but he deff made it more then what it was. The next day he broke it off, i was sooo shocked and of course sad and confused to why this was happening. I gave it about 4 days waiting for him to call me back and never did, so i sent him a text just saying, "this is crazy and we have to talk". he called and said he didn't think it wasn't gonna work and he's afraid. he said, "he's in this for the long haul and didn't want to hurt either one of us".. well i eneded up seeing him that night to talk face to face and yes i was upset with a few tears, telling him i couldn't give it up that easy. Things were sooo good and now what? it made no sense, he kept saying he was confused and didn't want to get hurt and that he loved me, then that night we cuddled and spent time together thinking everthing was good. Two days later he called and said that he couldn't wait to see me and give me a big kiss!! well sure enough when i got out of work thinking it's all good he said it again!! SORRY BABE BUT I DON'T THINK THIS WILL WORK FOR US and that he didn't have a good feeling about it!! i was so fed up at this point and told him "whatever". I'm done giving a 100% and this back and forth shit..he then just held me and still begged me to go back away this weekend with him, i told him he's crazy and he needs to make up his mind. He thought maybe this weekend would be good for him to figure out what's up. Well i told him if i do we're just friends and no SEX!!! he said 'i'm so confused and don't want to get hurt'..i said you are being selfish and need to get your shit together. I then informed him if he thinks after this i will not go back either, i'm sick of the roller coaster ride..he begged me to still go and i said no, no, no, no! He said that he still loves me and is so confused with his hands in his head i felt sorry. I told him if i walk out thats it, i can't do this any more..he understood and said he thinks he maybe making a mistake, but he'll soon find out.i told him i'm done, and in a day, or two, or two weeks later, if he does want me back i wont be there for him. i said, "sorry gave him a huge kiss and walked out". Now of couse im hurting more than ever and wishing it could all be again, but if he did ask me back what sould i do? why is he so confused? and if i don't hear back should i remain friends with him?
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female
reader, angelwings99 +, writes (9 November 2010):
i have just experienced this, and feel the need to move on and not look back.
A
female
reader, crazy_in_luv +, writes (11 July 2008):
oo..congrats darling!!
am glad things worked out!!
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A
female
reader, Kimmie111 +, writes (10 July 2008):
Kimmie111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys, thanks sooo much for helping me out!!! and the great news is, he called me 2 days later telling me he made the biggest mistake of his life and wanted me in it..He just had soo much going on that he thought it was best to let go cause he didn''t want to drag me into it..But he rather have me in and communicate then let me go..he also mentioned that he was alot happier with me his life, than not..He also thanked me for never giving up on him and that he's never had a women ever give her heart to him..
We went away to the lake and had the best time ever..We are even closer and he tells me everyday that he's so sorry for doing what he did and how much he love's me and that how much he can't belive how lucky he is for having me..Things have never been better, and i of cours, a little cautious and taking it all in stride because i wont let my heart break like that again..it seems like the more i pull back the more he wants all of it..I guess it's true when they say males love to hunt and the chase..Im glad i didn't give up and for all of you if you want something bad enough give it a 100% before you let it go!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Hey, reading this was amazing because my boyfriend did EXACTLY the same thing. Except he did it after 8 months of dating. Serious dating. Him wanting to marry me dating. And then all of a sudden, overnight, BAM! He tells me someone broke his heart and he doesnt trust in people he cant be around all the time. He doesnt know what I'm doing at it bother him a lot. Etc.. etc. I spent alot of time thinking about this, and like someone else said below.. emotional retard.
I dont know what to tell you, but I can say that this happens to other people too. That you will get over it sooner than you think. And that you will find somebody else. As for him, there is absolutely NOTHING you can say that will make him understand. Because unlike you, I didnt stand up for myself, I did go back to him and try to work it out, and eventually, he just ended up going back and forth for two months until he stopped talking to me. So give it time, if he comes back in a bit, then give it another chance. But now go on with your life.
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A
female
reader, crazy_in_luv +, writes (3 July 2008):
u did the right thing i think.
give him a chance to grow up..he hasnt yet,and he isnt really ready for a relationship,if u ask me..
just dont have sex with him like that..
dont wry,things will work themselves out for the best,u'll c.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Hi there,
I have to commend you on your actions. I think you did everything you needed to do. This guy has let you open your heart to him and then come out with his whole insecurity trip again and again.
You see him for what he is , an emotional retard. He is playing with your feelings by being a selfish arsehole if you ask me, how could any woman put up with this. I thought his first few comments were relatively innocent, but when you spell the rest of the scene out these comments act as a warning bell that he cant cope with commitment. In his twisted little mind he has convinced himself he is the real deal but in reality he is just a troubled little boy who cant deal with a full on adult relationship.
Put this one down to a bad experience mate. Good luck for the future.
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