A
female
age
41-50,
*nile68
writes:About 2 months ago I met this guy through a mutual friend. After a few weeks we started hanging out without the other friend. He has never once ignored a text. We talk every day, we hangout at least every other day. We have confided in each other our deepest secrets. We kiss, cuddle, have sex, take naps together. He lights all my cigarettes, opens all doors, carries all packages. It's always about what I want, anything I ask he does. When I told him I push people away, his response was, "I thought you knew me better than that, I wouldn't let you, you're stuck with me". We go to dinner, lunch, ice cream, shoot pool. I've met his friends and brother. When we were with his friends, the one made a comment about how he wanted to shoot pool just because that's what I wanted to do. However, he mentions how we're friends. So last night he drove me to a wedding, so I could drink and wouldn't have to worry about driving, he agreed to this a few weeks ago and since then his situation has changed, he moved an hour away. He still drove me even though I told him it wasn't a problem. On the way home I asked him if we could ever be more than friends and he said, "I'm not going to say never, but I don't feel that way right now." ... I asked him why he drove me, and he said it was because he gave me my word. I don't understand? I've never been treated so well. I know he has feelings for me, I can feel it when we're together. What does, "I don't feel that way right now", mean?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): I think this is a friend with benefits situation. It could turn into more, but you aren't requiring much. Doesn't even sound like you are going out on real dates, where he spends money on you and is trying to win you over.
If you want it to turn into that, then back off, stop asking him for favors, let him chase you....you can even stop having sex with him and see if he just wants to be in your company because of you.
He is just not looking for a relationship right now it sounds like, or he doesn't think he feels that way about you. Two months is not long enough to fall in love, in lust maybe, but not the real deal.
I wouldn't stop dating other men....and why do you need to be driven so you can drink? Do you have a drinking problem, why drink before a wedding, you can't have fun sober? He may be a drinking buddy more than anything else. One drunk knows another one when they meet them and alchohol builds a bridge, although a false one....sorry if that sounds harsh, but you should consider this.
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