A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend has not initiated sending me a personal message in the month since he decided his feelings for me were "complicated" and sent me a breakup e-mail (referenced in the link to my previous post below). He has forwarded me a few humorous/political e-mails. And lately, he has been liking and commenting on several on my Facebook posts, especially in the last few days.Today, though, a month after the breakup, he sent me a private Facebook message: "For what it's worth, I feel bad about the situation, and I'm sorry."I have been trying to maintain no-contact, except for one time I slipped up. Other than that, he hasn't heard from me. I did I ask about getting my stuff back, also referenced in my previous post in the link below.It's been over a week since I asked for my stuff, and he still hasn't contacted me about giving it back. The main thing I want is my photo books on local history.I've been staying busy and my Facebook profile shows it. Today I updated my profile with a great photo, and I'm fairly certain my ex saw last night that I checked in with a guy while on a date, the first time since he broke up with me. My ex also knows the guy. I know for a fact my ex isn't seeing anyone.Here is my original post for background info: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-he-not-responding-and-how-do.htmlWhy are his intentions in telling me a month later that he feels bad, after he sees, by all appearances, that I'm moving on? What does he want me to say to his message? How should I respond? Or not respond?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 September 2012):
 send him a message saying I'm glad you are sorry. Can I come by and get my stuff on xx/xx/xx at 12;12 or what ever time you want...
and once you get your stuff go NO CONTACT
not replying to messages is not no contact.
NO CONTACT means you block him on facebook and twitter
you delete and block his phone number and email
and you move on with your life.
IF he does not respond to you about your books. I'm sorry honey they are a loss in the relationship... my fiance once refused to give back a butter dish to a woman he had ended it with... (she left him) and she forgot her butter dish and she wanted it... it was not worth anything, it did not mean anything to him... it was the mere fact that she wanted it back and he was young and stupid and childish and refused to give it back... she gave up.. (and we use the butter dish)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): Don't respond. He doesn't want you. Sounds like he's probably feeling a little sorry for himself that you appear to be moving on and he hasn't yet. I've been here. I think they just get bored or need a little ego stroke just to make sure you feel bad, too, or miss them or whatever. Do yourself a favor and be strong here. I understand your wanting your stuff back. I would respond to his "I feel bad" text or e-mail or whatever it was by saying something like "Oh, don't feel bad! I have done a little thinking about the situation and you know, you were absolutely right. We just aren't right for each other. I do wish you the best of luck, however. Hey...when can I get my books back? Why don't you just leave them on your porch and I'll swing by and get them on my way to work? Thanks!" Also, check out the blog "Baggage Reclaim". It's FANTASTIC and got me through a bad time in my life. It's all about no contact, recognizing unavailable men, and filled with great advice and support. Best of luck!
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