A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What does this statement really mean"friends for now / not ruling it out"i was told that (a while ago now), we wernt' a couple, it was more casual i guess. He said he felt we were getting to close and he's scared to get close to anyone as his last relationship ended badly. After he said that he continued to hold my hand, rub my leg and try and kiss me. When we both left he said to text him when i got home (so he knew i got home....)That was a month ago Its been very bizare since. Three weeks ago he mentiond he still smiles at my photos. But hasnt really been that much since. He agrees to plans to catch up but cancels/backs out. He doesn't respond to text messages much either.Last one said that we'll work out a day next week and maybe do lunch xo. But also seemed annoyed at me for asking. Well he cancelled the day before and then cancelled the next day - screwed up 2 days in a row for me! It was a week since i heard from again and all it said was '3 sum?'... haven't heard from him in 3 days. Due to other reasons, i will be in his life for at least another 4 months.. not close close but around.........is he playing games?is he keeping me on a string, feeding me crumbs?I admit the past 1-2 weeks i probably have been texting him TOO much to catch up. He borrowed money and i have been wanting to see him to get it set up at the bank for it to come back (bits at a ime). With him flaking out on plans and not responding (he used to be good at that) made me very uneasy......
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (10 January 2009):
 You're right to be uneasy, honey.
Get your money back, and never loan it out to him again. He sounds really slippery. He's playing games and using you... trust your instincts. Be polite and firm. Limit your texts.
I had a guy try to use me once, and I was ga-ga over him. It was odd that when I shut down, he became more attentive. I wasn't playing games - Ireally lost interest - but he was such a player that he responded in a predictable way.
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